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male
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anonymous
writes: How do I get over the fact that I wont be #1 in my daughter's life after she gets married?My 30 yr old daughter is getting married, and well, it's making me nervous. I'm her dad and she's my "little girl" and I feel like I'm losing her. She still lives at home we're very close. Don't get me wrong; she doesn't mooch off me. Shes a lawyer and very smart and independent. She pays rent and her own way. But we're comfortable enough to live together. We would come home from work and I would rub her feet and she would tell me about her day. We would have dinner together. We'd take vacations together. But after she gets married she'll be doing all those things with her husband! Not me. How do I get over losing her and no longer being #1?
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (6 July 2006):
 A son's a son until he takes a wife, a daughter's a daughter ALL her life. I actually talk more to my kids since they flew the nest than I did when they lived with me! Trust me, your daughter will be in constant contact with you. Grandkids are great. This is all good so stop worrying.
A
male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (6 July 2006):
 I am going to assume (for lack of information) that the mother of your daughter either does not live with you or has passed away.
You are seeing a major relationship, perhaps the most important one, undergoing a huge change and it is a traumatic experience for you. But, as snowbird said, this is an opportunity for new experiences. You are not losing your daughter - if anything you are gaining an entire family!
If you and your daughter have had a healthy and balanced relationship, rest assured that you will never lose her. And if she has children she will certainly bring them over to visit, and you will have a new generation to spoil! How sweet would that be?
It's time to start preparing for a new life that includes less of (but is not exclusive of) your daughter, and it will be your choice as to the shape it will take. You can act like an injured bird that people (including your daughter) will tire of, or you can seize the opportunity and become someone you never thought possible, someone that your daughter will be proud of. Good luck and take care.
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A
female
reader, snowbird +, writes (6 July 2006):
 I'm sorry to break it to you - but your little girl is now a fully-fledged WOMAN!!!
She will not go from your life. She is the successful, confidant woman she is now because of the safe and secure and happy upbringing you gave her. She has learnt to trust men because of YOU. Be proud of her, some fathers (alas, such as mine) do not give the love and affection which you have given your daughter and sadly will never reap those rich rewards. It would not be healthy for her to stay at home all the rest of her life.. Get on with your own life now, make some satisfying relationships of your own, join a club, start a hobby and get absorbed in new things. She will be back to visit you often, I'm sure, and in time she may bring her babies who will be the most precious rewards!! Time now for you to embark on a new and exciting phase in your life - ENJOY!!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2006): Its time to let her go and live her own life your little girl has grown up and your still lucky to have that relationship up until now with her living with you,and im sure you will still be number one in her life as she will have a different love for her own husband and family.I very much doudt she will not include you in vacations here and there as it sounds as if you have a strong bond and you should be thankful for that.Look at it in another way you will not be losing out you will be gaining think of the grandchildren you might have to share your life with.Just be happy for her as it sounds as if you have a wondeful daughter and i can understand your proudness towards her.
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A
female
reader, sammie +, writes (6 July 2006):
 i think that you will always have that special place in her heart your her dad and no one can ever replace you no matter wot that bond will never go just because she is getting married it dont mean you cant go on holiday with her it just means there will be a extra one coming along you can still be close to her and her husband so instead of thinkin you are loosing really you are gaining another one if you get what i mean and if you feel lonly with out her then maybe go on th look for another women to have in your life and then you can do all them things with her (sorry if you already have someone i just assumed) having a women around is great and i think every man wants that hope this help you sweety samx
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