A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I come from a long line of alcoholics, and addiction traits run in my family. As a result, I really hate beer, as I'm watching my grandfather rink himself to death with it. I live very healthily, not drinking and never touching anything like a cigarette. Enter my boyfriend. He's wonderful! Caring, respectful, loving, supportive, and I absolutely LOVE being with him. One thing that bothers me about him, however, is that he drinks. He doesn't generally get drunk, and never gets so drunk he can't control himself, blacks out, or gets sick. It's really just tipsy. The thing is that he seems to drink quite often. Granted, it will be like one beer, but it bugs me. At least he makes it a point not to drink at all around me, and he doesn't hide it from me when he drinks away from me. How do I get over this fear? I really don't feel like my boyfriend has a problem, honestly. I'm the one who does.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (7 March 2011):
 Wow what a nice gesture on his part! About the meetings, there are two types. Alcoholics Anonymous is for recovering addicts, but Al-Anon is for family and friends of addicts. As I'm sure you've realized, it's very difficult to make it through dealing with a family member with addiction alone. Not everyone can afford therapy or wants to go, so these meetings are just a way for people to work through what they're going through.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you, so much for your assurances.
He and I talked about it today because he sensed my hesitation when he brought up a drink he had last night. I told him I knew he didn't have a problem, and that I was just unreasonably afraid of it. His response?
"I'll stop drinking if it makes you that uncomfortable. It isn't important to me to drink; YOU are important to me." Talk about reassurance!!
I didn't ask him to stop, but hearing that from him really helped me. I've never considered going to an alanon meeting. I figured they were only for recovering addicts. I'll have to think about that one.
Thank you, again :)
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (6 March 2011):
It's understandable you'd be sensitive about it, and since it's in your family it's probably a good idea for you to stay away from it to some extent.
That said, it doesn't sound like your boyfriend has a problem. One beer once in awhile is really nothing. He's being considerate about it, and you know the problem comes from your history with an alcoholic rather than from your boyfriend.
You should look up your local chapter of Al-Anon:
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/
They exist not for alcoholics, but for people who have had their lives affected by alcoholics. I can't recommend them highly enough. They are better than a therapist, and obviously a lot less money (free). It's open to all ages I believe. They can help a lot.
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