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male
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anonymous
writes: Hi, I'm falling in love with a women who is with someone and who has a child with him. Things are not good in there relationship though, she has spoke to me about it a couple of times and a few times said its make or break. I give her the best advice i can, and i never say anything about him or advise her to split up with him, as i do want her to be happy and be a really good friend to her if its the most we can be. We do talk a little bit on facebook and text a few times, she knows how i feel about her as i have told her, she said she cant take the risk and that she is very fond of me. What do i make of this? I dont want her to feel like im pestering her. I have wrote poems on facebook and she has said there very romantic and heartfelt. What do i please, its killing me.....
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female
reader, hollyrocket613  +, writes (20 September 2011):
If she is still with him but goes to you only occasionally, then you need to cut it off. You are confused about what to do because she is quite honestly, just stringing you along. She wants the best of both worlds but in all honesty, it's not fair to you. My best advice would be to tell her that you care about her & that is why you need to go your seperate ways. Things may be healed with her & her baby's father & you just might find a girl who makes you her number 1 choice. Hope this helps
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2011): I have been in this situation but as the woman. I was married and I hated my ex husband. He was selfish, manipulative, controlling, etc. I just did not love him. I didn't marry him because I loved him. I know it is a great deal my fault, and not all him (although he is not innocent, either.) I married him after knowing him for only 3 months. He was a rebound boyfriend after my heart was broken by someone I really loved. Plus I lived at home (I was only 20,) and my dad always was making it sound like I could never move out and take care of myself. So I got married to this guy without thinking.We were married for 5 years and had a child together. I met someone else during the last 6 months of that marriage. It was because I met him that I decided to leave. I knew that if I was falling in love with someone else, then it was wrong to be married to this guy I hated. So we had a divorce and he took away my child from me permanently out of revenge. I now have minor visitation. But, I married the other man I met and I love him and do not regret leaving that other marriage. It was the right thing to do to leave. I wish I could re-absorb my child and have him later instead, but it is too late for that, and I live with that as the consequence / karma of my own cruelty of marrying someone I didn't love. Also I have to see this person that I hate to the very core of my soul for the rest of my life due to my child. So, my advice is that it is up to her if she leaves, and that is something she needs to decide on her own. But if she refuses to leave him, then you need to focus on someone else other than her. Because her leaning on you and all is also cheating, and if she is going to stay married then she needs to fix her relationship instead of looking for outside men to comfort her.
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