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I'm falling for him but know I can't have him...

Tagged as: Forbidden love, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 May 2009) 7 Answers - (Newest, 24 May 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hello agony aunts, I'm having some love trouble with a guy that has a girlfriend and he and me have slept together many times, but he says to me that he can't leave her. But sometimes he says stuff like 'if we were together I will be there for you'. He said to me that he is falling for me and I'm falling for him big time. Help me please!?

Maria

View related questions: has a girlfriend

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2009):

If he truly cares for you the way you think he does. He would leave her and be with you. He just wants you as a booty call basically not saying he doesn't care on some tyoe of level he may. But obviously if he isn't willing to let her go for he cares for her more and wants to be with her not you. you deserve better. move on

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A female reader, chibvukubvuku Zimbabwe +, writes (2 May 2009):

chibvukubvuku agony auntall he wants from you is sex so u decide if you are going to be his sex machine for the rest of your live

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A female reader, SirenaBlusera Mexico +, writes (2 May 2009):

SirenaBlusera agony auntLina is right, I HATE guys like that.

If you want me, tell it like it is... I didn't sleep with the guy but I fell for someone who was a player and a jerk. I got sick of his lies, tired of my tears, and sick of waiting for him to tell me how he really felt about me.

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A female reader, SirenaBlusera Mexico +, writes (2 May 2009):

SirenaBlusera agony auntLina is right, I HATE guys like that.

If you want me, tell it like it is... I didn't sleep with the guy but I fell for someone who was a player and a jerk. I got sick of his lies, tired of my tears, and sick of waiting for him to tell me how he really felt about me.

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A female reader, SirenaBlusera Mexico +, writes (2 May 2009):

SirenaBlusera agony auntThis guy is a player and a jerk.

Falling for someone in a relationship... it's happened to all of us, including me... and it sucks. Do you really want a jerk, though?

Avoid him like the swine flu.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2009):

What you should believe is the fact that He Can't leave her! He is telling the truth when he says that. The other "If" stuff...is him saying the things he thinks you want to hear! The things that make you melt!!!! He is using you.

I suggest you move on, and find someone who is available!

Lina 319 is correct! He is a jerk and someone will definitely get hurt and most likely it will be you!

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A female reader, Lina319 United States +, writes (1 May 2009):

Lina319 agony auntWhat exactly do you wish to get help in? If it is to win him over, that will be a very hard job to fulfill. Altho you and him have slept on numerous occasions, and he sweeps you off your feet by saying IF we were together I will be there for you, chances are its all just talk.

Now I don't know what kind of relationship he has with his current girlfriend, but men like him are a dime a dozen. He is cheating on his girlfriend, sleeping with you, telling you what you probably want to hear, then going back to his girlfriend, sleeping with her, kissing, hugging her, all while telling her how much he cares and loves HER. Seems to me like he got his cake and he's feasting, while you suffer with your developing feelings, and his girlfriend is clueless.

He's a jerk! My suggestion is find a man who wants YOU, and who claims you as his one and only, not a sloppy second, or a nice girl who I have sex with who I probably, most likely, wont be with.

I don't mean to come off so rude and harsh but you aren't the first person to be in a situation like this. If he can cheat on his girlfriend, what makes you believe your so much better than her that he wont go off and do the same thing when you guys make it official?

Keep these things in mind, its a sign. And a big one. If he was a real man, who was falling for you, he would slowly, and like a gentleman break it off with his girlfriend, and then pursue you as a love interest. This way no one gets hurt. All he is doing is getting the best of both worlds, seems to me like he doesn't have the slightest bit of concern for your feelings or his poor girls.

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