A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am totally devastated.I love my girlfriend so much, but I have dumped her. Cannot tell why... A jealousy story, something that happened between us recently and that never went out of me. It's still inside, painful, pushing me to do things I do not want to do. I get crazy for nothing, because SERIOUSLY, she did nothing wrong.I ve dumped her twice before, for the same reason, she forgave me because I apologized, and she came backBut yesterday I dumped her again, still for the same jealousy story. And now, she only hates me.But I realize how miserable and horrible I am, she is not the one who deserves to be dumped, i m the one who should be for being such a fool.I want her back. I love her.Please help me. I am totally destroyed.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2010): Hi, ok so first off i've been in a similiar situation and it's a process that i know you can't just STOP like people are asking you to. You should look at what you do and what she does and what your jealous of. Once you've identitified the cause of your jealousy you should determine wether it's a just cause or not. Say she has a guy friend that she texts but it's just texting, Relax this should not make you jealous i understand that you may think she's doing something you wouldn't like but you need to trust people to be legitmately honest with you. If she's sitting on a dudes lap at the movies for no reason, and she's done it before, dump the dumb bitch. Girls like that are just making you into a toy and your having problems holding onto yourself and making her happy like you want to. Identify who you really are, enjoy your personal life and forget those who try to take away from it. You sir, my friend, come first.
-Jim G.
A
female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (21 June 2010):
 Sounds like you are sabatoging your relationship because you don't feel like you deserve someone like her, or you worry that she'll dump you later, so you are trying to beat her to it. Silly if you think about it. It's like self-mutilization. All I can say is STOP IT! It's a pattern that will resurface in all your relationships and each one will end the same way. If she didn't deserve it then apologize, ask her to come back and then get therapy. You really need to break this cycle.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (21 June 2010):
 I am so sorry. But you should not go back to her. She is damaged enough as it is and you need to work on yourself before you try to get in a relationship with anyone.
Learn how to control your jealousy and become a better man. Maybe after you have proven yourself you can get back together with her.
Become a better man, and good things will come your way.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2010): If you love her, then you need to TRUST her.
Do not let jealousy stand in the way of being with somebody you truly love. Please don't. You need to discuss your jealousy with her, and maybe question why you are so insecure with yourself to be jealous in the first place.
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