A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Please tell me what to do.I have been chatting with a girl who is lovely, mature and beautiful. she is 15 years younger and im not worried about that. we connect meaningfully over several (shes not in the same town) lengthy (3h+ phone calls) conversations, and so far one date (10pm till 3am talking,drinking)...she went away for a few days, i didnt contact her (patience, self control)she came home sunday, but waited till monday am before texting me 'hi have a great day, ill call you tonight' (bit odd to be that long a wait no?) (or no big deal?) (also after trips out of town usually posts pics on her facebook.. didnt so far)that night she said her parents have been 'on her case for an update' (i breathed a sigh of relief that i hadnt called, texted,chased her during that time .. and she said 'your the first one ive spoken to'nice. or platitudes?next day - today, we chatted at lunch (I called her, her fone dropped out after a few minutes, and she called straight back saying 'i was trying to get rid of you' (haha) - i said, 'oh really , is that why you called me back?' ;)she said , 'can you call me in an hour, got a few things to do' - i said, 'sure, and when i do, im gonna ask you what night is good to take you out on our second date' ;).... anyways.i called an hour and a half later (oops) - no answer - no biggy - left her alonegot a text at 6pm 'sorry i wasnt able to reply till now, i had to visit xxxx's grandparents house and only just now bla bla, ill be baby sitting till 8, so cant do dinner, postpone? call you tonight'.... i was gonna leave her to call me (It seems she is more of a caller than a texter...an hour later she texts 'did u get my last text, i just got home bla bla 8pm... bla bla' - i replied after 15min , ''ok, no probs - call me at 830''a) i figured that was enough padding around her activitiiesb) she is clearly responsive to texts today (altho usually she doesnt reply to texts , which is the reason i didnt think to reply to her today... i waited around till 9pm, no call -- so i called her(again no biggy) - she answered, but didnt talk, just put the fone down and i could here her calling her mom on the other lineafter a min i hung up and went outits now like 11pm and i get a text ''R u up?"- i have ignored it, im not sure what to think ... i know shes younger, and i have to continue to be 'chillaxed' about the more skittish nature of 24yo' chicks (never dated a younger girl by this many years before)...so far, i havent put a foot wrong, no needy behavior, no fawning.. respectful, not too many compliments, funny and charming bla bla... on our last (first) date, i distinctly remember her saying she likes to see what she can get away with - and wonder if this is a test/?what should i do?a) dont worry about it , call her now?b) call her tomorrow, let her think im _______ (whatever) c) reply by text ''im thinking of renting a video its called ''shes not really that into you'' - i think its a working title, or am i mistaken?d) tell her straight out tonight / or tomorrow (either on the fone or by text - i dont mind being open ''hey, when you didnt reply about the suggested time to call me *830pm*, and then let the night go till 11pm, i felt like i was being disregarded' ?e) insert your advise hereplease dont have a go at me, i really like this girl, and i just want to do the right thing for the sake of a respectful relationship - i can be assertive if thats whats called for, or i can wake up and move on if thats the obvious signal tooplease help
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Your friend  +, writes (9 July 2009):
 I would take this at face value and accept her explanation. If there is further reason to doubt later on then deal with that then but this should end speculation for now at least. Now relax.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionshe texted me this am and said 'sorry for not calling, i was talking to my school professor and then my parents wanted to go over my life plan!' ...
i replied something like 'oh ok' and she asked
are you upset?
to which i just said , 'no , its fine'
(since she basically just apologized, there didn't seem
to be any point in making an issue of it)
fair enough?
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A
female
reader, jaime90 +, writes (9 July 2009):
 if she is being disrespectful and only talking to you when it suits you then you need to step up and not be a pushover or she will think she can do whatever she wants and loose interest. be upfront with her, dont play games. just say what you want to say, if somethings annoying you then speak up about it
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A
male
reader, Your friend +, writes (9 July 2009):
Relax and stop analysing everything.
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A
female
reader, Lalala123lalala  +, writes (9 July 2009):
Just stop worrying too much, take things slowly and see if things work out or not.
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