A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating a great, amazing guy for just over half a year now. I am really falling in love with him...there's only one major problem: He doesn't love me...he loves his ex-girlfriend, who he broke up with over a year ago. They dated for six years.His ex-girlfriend hates me. I've only ever spoken to her once when I was introducing myself to her which leads me to believe she only hates me because I've got her ex boyfriend.He still loves her dearly and talks to her often, spends time alone with her, etc. He tells me that it's not a romantic relationship. He says that after six years together, she's his best friend in every way and he 'loves her' as a best friend or family member.I am really hurt by this. I feel myself falling in love with him and he's no where near that with me. He's only ever loved her. I do trust him, but it's hard for me to be hurt and be a second woman to him, even if they are just good friends. They basically grew up together.How long should I wait for him to start looking to me for love?
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best friend, broke up, ex girlfriend, her ex, his ex Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2008): Put urself first, dont believe they r just friends, most men have sex with there ex's and deny to the grave they don't. If this relationship does not satisfy you u have the choice even though painful to leave him. HE wil probably fight you and beg u but in a few weeks he will probably end up back with her. If he loves you he will see that he hurts you and he will back away from her but obviously its not happening, this is not your fault honey it happens all the time. Be strong and think about ur needs first!!!!
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (24 April 2008):
 Collaroy said it all. You seem to be his rebound relationship. He won't give you what you need any time soon. He might, just might, give you the love you need after he is over his ex; but you don't know when that will be.
If I were you, I would leave him and try to find someone who would give me all the attention I deserved.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (24 April 2008):
 Hi there,your relationship is still in its infancy so I guess there is still hope.but your boyfriend is being a jerk there is no two ways about it. He is not showing you any respect by keeping this emotional attachment with his ex. Why don't you ask him why he split up with his ex if they are so much in love with each other? There has to be a reason , and maybe he needs to be reminded of this when he thinks of her so lovingly.At the end of the day if he sees you as his girlfriend he needs to treat you as such. I would advise that you step back a bit from this relationship, he has unfinished business with his ex, he should really have sorted this out before dating you. I hate to say it but it looks like you are his rebound relationship - and these rarely work out.but good luck anyway.
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