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I'm considering plastic surgery as I hate my jaw - advice?

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Question - (28 May 2015) 3 Answers - (Newest, 29 May 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 22-25, anonymous writes:

I'm in my early twenties. I'm not bad looking otherwise and do get attention but I have a huge jaw and chin (think Olivia Wilde but my chin is really wide too)

I am not fat its just genetics. It means smiling with my mouth open looks horrible (I have a small mouth too which makes it worse) and though I look OK from some angles in real life I look horrible and I mean horrible in photos. It has gotten me down for as long as I can remember.

The rest of me is fine (I am good with makeup, clothes, etc.) but I am reluctant to even date because of it because it does stand out. I get called "cute" a lot and complimented on my eyes but I have been passed over for stereotypical "hot girls" (even my tutors at uni would treat me worse) for ages, despite being in shape, and I am tired of this.

I am considering getting plastic surgery for it (maybe in Korea as apparently the doctors there are really good at jaw/chin reductions). I can afford it as I have graduated and been working for a while.

What are the risks though? Not just physical but otherwise? I guess some people will not date me/be repulsed by plastic surgery but I want to do it for me. How do I tell my family/friends? How much are people judged for this?

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A female reader, Euphoria30 Germany +, writes (29 May 2015):

Dear OP,

As far as your environment goes, I don't think this should hold you back. If you can stand behind this decision, then those people who really love you will still love you, with or without the surgery.

BUT I would encourage you to dig a bit deeper into your own doubts and insecurities, before you decide to go through surgery.

From my experience, surgeons always find a reason to cut open someone, so I'm worried that as soon as you go to a plastic surgeon about this, they won't tell you if your problem is really that bad, they will just make suggestions about how to proceed. Basically selling to you your dream of a more beautiful face.

BUT what would be important to know - and maybe a friends' advice would be better - is your chin/jaw really so outstanding that it's an obstacle in your life? Or are you making it one by obsessing about a little flaw that no one else really cares about?

You know, I have what I always perceived as a "big belly". I felt it standing out, being disproportionate to the rest of my body, and trying for many years to do exercise and reduce it, etc.

It also kept me from dating and being self-confident for years. I also avoided going for a swim, wearing tight clothes etc.

Then, one day, I read a self-help book about something else, and from there came the concept of just living AS IF I already had the self-confidence, AS IF I was as beautiful as I wished.

And from then on, I am not kidding you, I've met so many men, I've been naked, I've had sex, I've worn all the clothes I had previously forbidden to myself.. and NOT ANY guy has EVER had any complaint, remark, critical look about my belly. Just nothing! The negative reactions I anticipated, the rejection, the eventual disaster.. it never ever happened.

I have my suspicion that maybe you are handicapping yourself more, with your negative perception and your continuous comparison with "hot girls", than other people would handicap you. That if you are being ignored at uni or in your dating life, it's not because of your chin/jaw, but because you are too shy and self-conscious.

Ok, there, I've said it. Wishing you good luck with any decision you take.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy + , writes (29 May 2015):

CindyCares agony aunt I googled Olivia Wilde because I remembered the name but not the face, and there were tons of her pics ,in none of which I could detect anything wrong with her jaws ! She is absolutely gorgeous ( minus a too high ,slightly disproportioned brow if we want to nitpick .... ) so if you resemble her even vaguely, you are a lucky girl :)

Said that, no, I would not go to Korea, I would not dream to go to Korea. Because with jaw surgery the maxillo facial surgeon will typically have to check you at one week, 3 weeks and 6 weeks from the intervention ( and that, best case scenario, supposing all runs smooth ) so all these comings and goings would be expensive and exhausting. And because , as Honeypie says , it's an operation that requires a skilled surgeon and total anesthesia, so, although I am sure they have interpreters in Korean clinics, I think ,just in case ,you'd be safer where they speak your own language, or at least in some European country in which most plastic surgeons are FLUENT in it.

IT should not be a problem to find a qualified , expert, reputable plastic surgeon to operate you in your country or an European country. I have heard that in Belgium they are excellent at " doing " jaws and chins, but do not take my word for it, it's hearsay.

As for the " social " acceptability of your operation ? - Bah. Do you really care if YOU deeply feel you want to do that ? Anyway, I do not think people would find it

" weird " - after all, there are thousands of people who have their nose "done " and nobody is stigmatizing them.

In fact, you have an advantage on them, that in your case you are probabaly describing an underbite, so it might very well even be a FUNCTIONAL operation that you are going for, not just an aesthetical one. Or at least, you'd have a very good excuse to pass it as such !

You should have a thorough consultation with a plastic surgeon before proceeding ( and if he is a reputable one, you WILL have one anyway, he would never operate you without thoroughly explaining you risks, pros and cons ) so you can make a well informed decision.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (28 May 2015):

Honeypie agony auntI would NOT go to Korea for plastic surgery unless you are fluent in Korean. It would be pretty BAD for ANY misunderstanding to occur on something as COMPLICATED as jaw surgery.

I would however, find the MOST reputable plastic surgeon in either UK, US or Europe and have a consult IN person. LISTEN to what they tell you. What to expect.

I'm not a big fan of "superficial" surgery and THIS is one of those. You want to be prettier. But I wouldn't "judge" you for doing it, it's YOUR body your choice. I have a friend who have had a nose job (she broke her nose and her septum was offset and giving her migraines) One had a boob reduction because her boobs were killing her back. And one had her chin done, because it didn't fit her bite and gave her headaches too. All of them happy with it.

Are there men out there who won't date you? Absolutely.

I remember a case shown all over the Internet where an Asian man DIVORCED his wife because he didn't KNOW she had had plastic surgery and now they had an (and I quote) UGLY child . Some people see it as being "fake" - because it's not the "real you" - but that I find silly. IT is the real you, you just had your jaw altered.

If you are paying for it, I would wait til you have had your consultation. Then tell them, if you still plan to go for it.

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