A
male
age
41-50,
*ohn15908
writes:So I've been dating this girl for about 13-14 months. When we first started, everything was great, and we talked about marriage after about 6 months. Then, right around the 10 month mark, she changed, and her tune was, "I'm having doubts and don't know what I want." After about 2 miserable months of this, we ended it, even though I couldn't put my finger on why this had happened, especially since everything was amazing and nothing happened to change anything. We got back together after 2 weeks of no contact. She called, saying she regretted everything, wants the world with me and everything else. Now, I'm noticing the same tendencies in her that she showed when we first had this problem (kind of reserved, not as loving, etc.). What in God's name am I supposed to do? I love this girl with everything I have, but I can't have a round 2 happening with her.
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female
reader, Star_07 +, writes (22 May 2008):
 I would say that you need to back off. Talking about marriage after 6 months? Dont commit to that. Get to know her better and find out if you really like her for who she is, not for what who you think she is.
This is not a unknown female cycle! I think at the 6 month mark you are still very much in love so getting married is more like a fantasy than reality.
I think you need to talk to her about what has been going on. Tell her that you are serious about her but are NOT considering getting married in the next week! Ask her how she is feeling and if she is feeling pressured. Tell her it is okay, you just want to enjoy being with her ect.
Take it one day at a time.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2008): I think it is the unknown female cycle. Get use to it with this one, maybe you might fair better with someone else, but highly doubt it. I'll assume she doesn't share her deeper feelings at all. If not, you might consider running away, because she will always be a roller coaster unless you can get her to understand and agree to disclose more of her feelings. Will all have up and down cycles; men's are more predictable; women's is like gambling.
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