A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:it seems as though im being used for sex by guys...im tired of it...this guy tells me were making love and i told him i took it seriously...and all he says is his job is very demanding and he's not ignoring me or wanting to hurt my feelings...i find this hard to believe...but ive also had a couple of instances where guys only want sex from me...this guy has reassured me that he doesn't have a gfriend...but it's just his job...what do you guys think? is he playing me for a fool?i told him i took it serious when he told me we were making love and he said he was serious and remembers everything he told me...what's you guys thoughts on this scenario? I know i probably shouldn't have gave it to him, but it's not as though we just met. i do like him but think i may have to let him go because he's not showing me enough attention...help me aunts please!!!!!!!!! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Delboy69  +, writes (14 October 2009):
Are you in love ?
Yes = Tell him to get his act together otherwise you are off
No = Bye Bye
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (13 October 2009):
 Honestly how long do you wait to have sex with a guy you met?
Maybe you need to take the time to get to know them before having sex, that way you will pretty fast weed out the ones that "only" want sex. They won't stick around if you don't put out.
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A
female
reader, MAIDinHeaven +, writes (13 October 2009):
darling! i know how you feel! my advice is: Wait for marriage! I am serious. This is spinning out of control and everytime you sleep with someone your soul is tied to that person. That's why when he walks away it feels like something got ripped out of you and you feel empty and used. And then you hope the next one will be different. Look at yourself...when you were twelve, did you ever imagine you would be this emotionally exhausted now?Wait for a guy to put a ring on your finger and set the date. Trust me. You'd want the same for your daughter too, wouldn't you? It'd be one of the best decisions you could ever make for yourself. Yes, it takes self-control. Yes it takes a whole new set of rules for your dating life. But it is worth it when you look back on all that pain in the aftermath of abandonment after sex.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys for your responses...both are highly appreciated...
in response to Cerberus i think you're right...i may have been over reacting a little bit...or maybe i should have just not called first...but im positive he likes me...just don't think it's as much as i like him...
in response to LazyGuy i agree with you also...by no means are men stupid...like anyone they know what to say to get what they want...period...his actions to me show that he just wanted sex...the reason i feel this way is because i contacted him first after a week went by of no contact...
when i asked him what's up...as i originally said he said he's working...it's rather confusing...because he answers my calls always...always has...but my thing is if you wanted to hit and quit...why answer at all....just cut all ties...who knows...im not going to put anymore time and effort in trying to figure it out...
it was a long time coming...we've known each other since child hood...but maybe nothing will come of it...that's fine...i'll be okay...i was just curious why he would go as far as to say we're making love...it's not like i was really playing hard to get...when he said this we we're already having sex :~/
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (13 October 2009):
 Guys?
One thing keeps amazing me about women, why do they think all men are stupid. Don't you think we know that "lets make love" works a lot better then "spread them bitch"?
A guy who wants sex will say what needs to be said, so never go by a guy's words, go by his actions.
Do his actions reflect just sex or something more.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2009): Honestly there's no way we can know.
The question you need to consider is whether he's really done anything concrete to make you think this or whether your just overreacting to nothing.
Nothing you have said suggests to me that he's lying and until you have evidence to the contrary I think you're making a big deal out of nothing.
You need to relax a bit, it sounds to me that you're freaking out when there's most likely nothing wrong and actually seem to be acting a bit needy and clingy. You're putting him under pressure needlessly to ease your insecurity and you could end up actually pushing him away.
Try not to read too deeply into things, not everything is a mindgame, if he's busy at work then it's most likely that.
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A
female
reader, YourDestiny11 +, writes (13 October 2009):
 Yeah you should probably let him go! You seem smart and like you already have the answer!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2009): They 'll tell anything you want to hear just to have sex, that's how they are programmed. We, girls are different. That's why it's up to us wether to let them to take advantage of us. To be sure they aren' in just for sex, wait at least a month. If a guy just wantssex, he'll split in 2days.
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