A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidIm with my bf for almost 3 years, had our ups and downs. Few days back we had a major fight, he was talking to a girl way more than he is supposed to and texting her often. He used to do like this before too, he likes girls getting all over him, he never cheated though.I thought what he is doing not right, since he already has a gf, he told me i should start sharing him with others as he is getting bored with me, and he is getting interested in others and called me names. We got into a huge fight. Im staying at my friends right now after the fight, he hasnt called me for days, yesterday he called me as if nothing happened, i love him a lot, but im scared about talking to him, cause i knew he'll make me throw down all my defenses and take him back and the cycle continues. What should i do now, i am scared that he's gonna hurt me a lot when he finds that im thinking about not going backHe is an emotional abuser and he knows how to hurt me and make me sick. Please help me
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female
reader, smb77  +, writes (1 September 2014):
Sounds similar to my problem at the moment. I divorced my ex husband because of alcohol and verbal emotional abuse issues and silly me got back with him 2.5 years later because I thought he had changed. He had for a while. But then went back to his old ways, but without the drink. Yet again I am still finding the strength to leave him after yet again finding messages on his phone this weekend :-(
I hope you were able to sort things and didn't go back. x
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2014): Young lady, get out an then, you will fine a nice guy, but hun be careful, don't fall into the trap thinking you don't deserve a good guy , you do, I was with a women, she went back to him, she felt she deserve it, it broke my heart, seeing her get hurt by him, but he has her so beat down, now I wonder if she ever thinks about how good I treated her, so give a good guy a chance, he will treat you like you should be treated, smile he is out there, go an fined him. Bye, good luck.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 May 2014):
 He is an emotional abuser.... well that's an easy one.
you end it with him and go NO CONTACT.
IF he can't get in touch with you he can't hurt you right?
just tell him, "I'm sorry it's over don't contact me"
then block him on email, social media and your phone... do not take his calls... make sure your friends know the same thing... if he's an abuser your friends know it and I'm sure they will be more than happy to help you get away from him....
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A
female
reader, mystiquek + ♥, writes (5 May 2014):
 Your post troubles and disturbs me greatly. First of all, he's texting other women..in my book, that's cheating. He tells you he tells you that you should "share" him and he's interested in others. That isn't a man in love. That's a man that's bored and will walk all over a woman if she lets him. Lastly, you're afraid to go back to him because he might hurt you??? WHY oh WHY would you even consider going back to him???
I was with an abusive husband and I know how that tear away at you and make you feel like you are nothing and that you are useless and would be no one without them. The mental abuse has already been inflicted on you, its easy to see. Many times the physical abuse comes next, which is what it sounds like could happen.
Honey, whatever you do...do NOT go back to him. Has he worn you down so far that you don't see what he is doing to you? What he MIGHT do to you??
End things once and for all. You don't have to meet him to do so, you can do it on the phone, a text, whatever. If it isn't your place, arrange with a friend (preferably a male) to go with you, get your things. The police will go if there is fear of domestic abuse. Stay with a friend, family, go to a shelter if you have to..do NOT go back to this man. PLEASE..for your own sake. End things before you are hurt really badly. Please seek out counselling too..you need to believe in yourself again. Please let us know how you are.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2014): Emotional abuser alright... 1. He calls you names, 2. He says he's BORED of you, and wants OTHERS 3. He openly flirts with other girls to HURT you. 4. God knows what else... Of course you feel he's making you sick, he emotionally batters you! These feelings aren't there for fun, they're a dire warning that you need to GET OUT. Even when we KNOW something's bad for us, we FEEL like we can't give it up. We're under the influence of out emotions, like thick mud that takes A LOT of effort to struggle out of... But there WILL be a point where you have that strength to fight your way out any friends , family, Open up to others because you need help. You're afraid you're terrified what he'll do, that he'll find new ways to chip away at you... That's what he's doing. You clearly have some esteem, self worth issues for letting him break you down this much. Please get some help from any friends and family, just reach out to anyone, let them get you in a more stable mind frame. Then you can cut contact and get some therapy... You need to CUT CONTACT. You need to build an iron gate around your emotions, to keep him out. Effort though it'll be, it'll be easier with others.Take care and good luck, we're here for you on DC. ! There are decent people in the world and this scumbag isn't fit to lick your shoe. X
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (4 May 2014):
 You write: "he never cheated though....."
SURE..... keep saying that, and I'm SURE it will come true!!!
Good luck.....
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