A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Is this the Austrian way of doing things or am I being foolish. I'm so confused, dating a guy for 3 months. Everything is okay. He text me sms me, not much callings but when I ask him to call he usually does. The problem is, when I'm home back got that damn feeling that something is wrong. And what? I usually treat him, I mean he somethimes puts his hand into his pocket but feels satisfied when I pay the bill.I'm a student and he knows that my financical situation is unstable and he's got a well paid job. I'm not that kind of girl that will tell hey I'm short of money or ignore the bill. I leave on him to decide. Is he taking advantage of me and my companion or? I mean I've never got any presents or any like attention. Once he bought me some cheap chocolates, only I discovered that he bought 1 or maybe more. When I asked, for whom is the other box, he replied for me, only planning to give later. I was very confused, angry and didn't accept the box at all. I'm not perfect ,but I'm beautiful, have lots of opportunities, he is aware of this, so once in the club when I was treated the drinks and invited by a attractive guy, he immediately jumped up and then started like silly to buy drinks and treat everyone around me!!! Whats this? Can anyone explain to me? Does he realy want to be with me or he is taking just advantage of my companion?Would appriciate any opinion.
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male
reader, jm81690  +, writes (10 September 2007):
 He may like you, but he definatley sounds stingy.
Next time tellhim you're low on cash and can't afford the bill, you might not feel right doing it, but he shouldn't feel right taking your last few dollars because he's too dingy to pay a bill.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNot to be misunderstood.. he is paying, but its noticebale that giving money is to him like giving some flesh, For god sake, they re just money, u can make it!! I do not imply, that he should pay everything, but the problem is that he is puting his hand into his pocket only when he feels threatened by other guys around... I would agree he is jerk, i mean is normal guy that loves you and cares for you, buying two presents, with some stupid intention to give one now and one later? For what...Manipulating just to have his way with you? I love him, really but feel so cheeply by his actions... Should i tell him or simply stop the communication?Thanks to all for ur answers
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A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (10 September 2007):
 You need to redevelop your relationship boundaries. All though it seems he is taking advantage of you, you need to look at his intentions. Is his intentions to take advantage of you, or is that how it looks on the surface. The reason for buying those drinks is guys around beauty feel threatened. He knows you could have just about any guy you want, and did that to keep himself looking better than the guy who was treating you to drinks. The other person poses a threat.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2007): I can't say if he is always like this OR just like this with you. But I think the bottom line here is that he is a jerk. I think a guy should want to pay. He is a cheapskate. And that was so sketchy how he offers to pay ONLY when some other guy offers to buy you drinks?
I don't know. He sucks. And I would absolutely not pay for one more thing for him. I'd probably just not take him seriously at all. But if you are going to continue seeing him, then stop paying for him. And he has already made it clear that he is not going to pay for you so treat him like a friend.
He is showing you that he is a jerk. He's probably always like this. He is going to have alot of trouble finding cool women to be with. I say dump him.
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