A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I m a single mum with a 5 yr old boy. I ve got a boyfriend of nearly a year. Things have been fine up until the past month or 2 but now I m not sure that I want to be with this man. He has recently told me he has suffered with depression most of his adult life, it has scared me and I m not sure that I can take this on. We have been arguing more over the past two months,recently I find him selfish and do not like the way he speaks to my boy and I have told him so. I feel unable to move forward with him at the moment but I m not sure about ending the relationship when things were so good before. I have been through a stressful time recently ie job/location change which has not helped!I feel he is a good person but I m not sure we are suited anymore. I dont want to make a mistake either way but I feel numb towards him sometimes! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, pinkmum +, writes (15 August 2007):
Thank you all for your words of advice...I m a big believer that 'things happen for a reason'It feels hard at the moment but I m sure that its all for a good reason, I know that things ll turn out for the best.It s important to keep a postive perspective and look at the major things in life ie health, family etc etc.Onwards and upwards!!
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (15 August 2007):
 You are single mom.
Do not date someone that has more problems and challenges than you do.
Protect your son, and date someone else.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
female
reader, skye +, writes (14 August 2007):
 I agree with you that your boyfriend shouldnt be telling you how to raise your little boy. You are his mother and have obviously done a good job of bringing him up as he is well behaved. Im sure he can be a little monkey like most 5 year olds, but it should be down to you when he needs parental chastisement.
I dont think your boyfriens depression has had much to do with how your feelings for him have changed. Afterall, he was already a sufferer when you met him and it had no impact then. Lots of people suffer with this illness everyday and are perfectly "normal". Unless he has told you that he has experienced periods of psychosis or violence, then I dont think you have too much to worry about.
If you are intent on giving it one last try, speak with your boyfriend and find out exactly what form his depression takes and what medication he has been prescribed, then find out about its side effects. Tell him that you have been through a tough few months and you know things have suffered with him but you want to try again. Also make it perfectly clear where he stands in relation to the disciplining of your little boy. Take things from there and see how you get on.
However, I think this relationship has simply run its course and it is time to move on.
Good luck,
Skye
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (14 August 2007):
 That sounds similar to how it was for me. Its strange isnt it that usually guys say us women are too soft! Mine so far are well behaved kids. My ex didnt like my 10 yr old daughter sleeping in my bed the nights he didnt stop over. Said shes too old for that now. I used to sleep in my mums bed most nights until about the age of 12, i am close to my mum, it does no harm so i wasnt having that!
I would stress to him, that as he doesnt live with you, he hasnt actually got a say in things like discapline. You dont have to say it nasty.
C xxxxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2007): Thanks for reply. No he does nt live with us , he stays over occasionally. He does nt mistreat my child but our opinions on bringing up kids are different, he says I am sometimes too soft but my little boy has been so well behaved I dont feel the need to be overly strict with him.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (14 August 2007):
Hi
Does this guy live with you & your son? because i wouldnt have a guy thats not living in our house start lourding it over my kids.
If they live with you then obviously they have more say, but in a reasonable way. I am fiercely protective of my 2. They are 12 & 10 & sorry but wont have a guy dictate how i bring them up. Not when they havent been a full time parent for years. If they have been, i might take on board what they say a bit more.
I guess it depends what hes actually like with your son at the end of the day.
C xxxxx
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