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I'm a boy and I like the guy that helps me in History. How do I tell him?

Tagged as: Age differences, Crushes, Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 January 2012) 6 Answers - (Newest, 3 January 2012)
A male Greece age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'm an 18 years old boy and I'm bi. I've got a guy that helps me in History and he's 28 and, to be honest, I really like him as a man. I'm 99.9% sure he's gay, based on the way he acts, speaks etc and sometimes, when he's into his teaching very much and touches my leg I can feel a vibe and I wonder if he feels it too. I always compliment him on how he dresses, on how he's decorated his house etc and last time when he was sitting next to me and reading some pages, when he was done I gave him the "look" and he looked at me smiling, although I'm not sure if he gave the look back or it was something else. Since he is NOT my teacher, I do not think there's any legal barrier, either.

I need to tell him that I find him attractive and I like him because I can't keep it in any more and I want to tell him, but I am afraid he might flip out and stuff. He's amazing and I don't even think telling him will make anything awkward, but I need advice on how to tell him that gently or even let him know.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2012):

Don't ask him "Are you gay?" that's considered an "on the spot question" and regardless of his sexuality can easily make him feel awkward towards you. Not all people feel comfortable with questions like those.

You have to realise he's 28. If I was 28 I'd be hesitant to make a move on an 18 year old even if I liked him, its very risky especially when schooling is involved even if he's not your legit teacher.

I advise you use body language its safe and easy and can be bypassed if you change you mind. Actions speak louder than words. You could just tell him that you like him but that could be risky and isn't half as fun. The best bet is eye contact, look at him for about 2 seconds making sure he sees you looking then look away but don't do it to much. Do it about 3-5 times during one session. Try and act nervous while you do it, even if you have to fake doing it, the aim is to send him a message and once he gets it he'll wonder why he makes you nervous, then it'll hit "Oh! He likes me"

If it turns out he's straight he can't prove a thing but if he's gay I'm sure something should come up.

You could get a little frisky. When ever he stands up infront of you you could drop to your feet and tie you shoelaces then slowly get up, give him smile and go about you business. Still can't prove a thing. Or you could stand beside him when he sits with your crotch beside his face. Lol!

Believe it or not the aim here isn't sex it just ways to give obvious signs of what you want him to know.

I hope this helps.

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A female reader, TashaLoves117 United States +, writes (3 January 2012):

When he comes and help you. Just simply ask him if he would like to get drinks and see what he says.......

THEN you can possibly get a better read on him and prepare to ask him out on a real date. Good luck!!!

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A female reader, elise22 Netherlands +, writes (2 January 2012):

elise22 agony auntI really don't have any experience with this kind of thing, since I'm always too shy to let someone know how I feel, but maybe you could try to let him know subtly? Like, not saying the words but maybe touching his leg more often, smiling more often, touching his arm/shoulder and see how he responds? Then maybe something would just happen... I'm not sure this would be effective, but there's really no way to tell him without making a big deal out of it. It does sound like he might like you, so you could take the leap. On the other hand, he might also just like you in a friendly tutor kind of way...

Anyway, I hope this works out for you! Good luck!

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A female reader, Ima FreAk!  United Kingdom +, writes (2 January 2012):

Ima FreAk!  agony auntHiyaaaa,

Firstly, you can't assume he is gay. NEVER ASSUME. Trust me assuming just makes things 10 times worse.

You gotta ask straight up. It is awkward to ask a guy straight up "are you gay?" instead I dunno tell him a problem that you have. In fact till him your problem but don't say his name or don't say that you like him just say "I like this boy but not sure if this boy likes me and blah blah blah" then you know when he gives advice, ask him have you ever been in love and you know go from there and find out if he is gay.

If he is gay then yippie for you! Secondly if he is gay you should build a friendship don't tell him that you like him YET. Because you guys are still in the teacher mood you know ask him if you guys wanna go cinema or something you know as friends not as teachers and student.

Once you've ask him to go out with you like dating well not dating but you know hanging out then you can tell him or when the moment is right.

You will know when the moment is right!

Hope my advice helps!

Good luck!

Lots of love,

Ima FreAk!

x

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A male reader, randomanonymity India +, writes (2 January 2012):

Hey! I'm not exactly an expert but I really want to help you out. If you REALLY like him then you should definitely go for it. But before that please make sure that he is 100% gay, and more if possible! Even I really liked a guy and for me facebook worked wonders! Start chatting with him online, about his life, interests, friends, and mostly his personal life. (I had to do this online because I never found enough alone time with MY crush in the real world.) Neways, when you're certain that he's pretty much gay, as you already are, hint to him that you too are gay, or maybe conflicted. Say that at times you feel like you want to experience everything in this world, including a gay relation, and examine his reaction. If he is really gay, then he too will start opening up. Once you guys have outed yourselves, you can continue telling him about your feelings for him. It will come naturally once you start talking. (Facebook worked for me because I could never confront these things in person. Might not be true to you.)

P.S.: Please dont go ahead with it if you feel it is of no use. I really dont have any experience myself. Just trying to help. Best of luck!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2012):

tell him how you feel. he won't flip out because everybody enjoys being told that they are liked/loved just tell him and im sure he'll understand he was once your age he'll definately understand :)

good luck hopei helped

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