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I'm 25-she's 18 and I like her! Am I creepy for wanting to date someone much younger?

Tagged as: Age differences, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 May 2007) 8 Answers - (Newest, 9 June 2007)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hello

My name is Trent and I'm 25 years old. I have a good friend named Emily who is 18 years old, and this problem is about her.

We met two years ago when I was 23 and she was 16. We were both working at the same pizza place and became friendly through our jobs. I had a serious girlfriend my own age at the time so I never in any way thought of Emily as a romantic possibility.

When I was 24 and Emily was 17, my girlfriend (of four years) unceremoniously dumped me I was heartbroken. One night after work Emily stayed late to help me close the place and gave me advice and consolation. She was just so sweet, so understanding and so caring that I couldn't help but sort of fall for her. I know that sounds horrible because I was so old but, couldn't help it.

So over the past year we've developed a really close friendship. Nothing more, although I've had a crush on her for ages now. She hangs out with my friends and I sometimes, we go to baseball games together, we go see bands play, etc. I just have a lot of fun with her.

She celebrated her 18th birthday 2 weeks ago, and at her party I was dying to ask her out the whole night. I was just terrified that even though we're friends, she'll think of me as some sort of creepy older guy.

I'm afraid to ask her out because I don't want to seem like a predator or anything, but I'm afraid to NOT ask her out because I know some other guy is going to swipe her up. She's just beautiful inside and out. Funny, caring, thoughtful, intelligent...just perfect. I don't want to miss out.

Am I being really creepy for wanting to be with her? I feel like crap for liking someone so young.

View related questions: crush, heartbroken

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A male reader, heyshaba Canada +, writes (9 June 2007):

7 years is nothing. Good luck with her.

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A female reader, Just a Girl... United Kingdom +, writes (10 May 2007):

Just a Girl... agony aunthuni, its a great sign that your questioning the age difference because thats says to me that you have only good motives. im 16 and my bf is 25, he had a really hard time knowing whether or not to ask me out because we had been friends and he totally understood how on the surface it would look. but now wev been together nearly 4 months and the way i look at it is, isnt it better that she be with a guy that treats her right and is okder than a guy hu is younger but is awfuk to her??

it doesnt help that people only see the age difference and not the people but if you can get past that then YEA GO $ IT!

good luck huni xxx

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A female reader, cd206 United Kingdom +, writes (6 May 2007):

cd206 agony auntNo, you're not being creepy. I think the fact that she's 18 rather than 17 is really vital here because it means you're now both adults and can make your own decisions about things. Just be aware that she has different pressures in her life right now and problems that you might not be able to overcome.. like if she wants to go away to university of similar. Talk to her and see how she feels.

CD

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2007):

This has happened to me as older guys are always interested in me – but I don’t really seem to mind. So I don't think you are creepy just for liking someone that is about seven years younger than you. These days age doesn't really matter, especially because she is 18 and therefore an adult now anyway. If you share a lot in common I think you should go for it and ask her out - the worst that could happen is she says no. You seem to be a really thoughtful guy because you've thought about the fact she's younger than you and tried to deal with your feelings for her. Girls do often like guys who are a bit older than them and maybe Emily is one of those - but you'll never find out if you don't ask her out in the first place. The only thing to watch out for is that she may see you as a friend only and so if you ask her out and she says no try to laugh it off or put it behind you so that you don’t wreck your friendship with her. Good luck, I hope it works out for you both

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2007):

This has happened to me as older guys are always interested in me – but I don’t really mind that much. So I don't think you are creepy just for liking someone that is about seven years younger than you. These days age doesn't really matter, especially because she is 18 and therefore an adult now anyway. If you share a lot in common I think you should go for it and ask her out - the worst that could happen is she says no. You seem to be a really thoughtful guy because you've thought about the fact she's younger than you and tried to deal with your feelings for her. Girls do often like guys who are a bit older than them and maybe Emily is one of those - but you'll never find you if you don't ask her out in the first place. You've known her for a while now and so your feelings for her have developed over time, so it is not predatory as you didn't set out for this to happen. The only thing to watch out for is that she may see you as a friend only and so if you ask her out and she says no try to laugh it off or put it behind you so that you don’t wreck your friendship with her. Good luck, I hope it works out for you both.

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A female reader, agony_emz United Kingdom +, writes (6 May 2007):

agony_emz agony auntyou shouldn't feel creepy at all!! its human nature!! so theres an age gap but there's an age gap in most relationships! you've only been spending time together at work or outside of work with friends! why not take her out for a meal and see if you feel their is any affection from her! and then take her out another time and talk about your feelings for her she may feel the same but may just behinding it!!

good luck x

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A female reader, susu  +, writes (6 May 2007):

absolutely not, you are not a creep, my ex whom i was in a realtionship for rather a long time was 26 when we met and i was 19 , its natural for men to like younger girls and for girls to like mature older guys. ur still in your twenties and she isnt a minor she is over 18.

tread carefully though seeing as she is your friend and good luck

x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2007):

Please don't feel like crap I say go for it! It's not the biggest age difference in the world and I honestly don't think she'll think of you as a "creepy" person for asking her out, in fact she'll probably be extrememely flattered. You sound like you already have the kind of friendship were you are close enough to take that next step without anything being predatory about it because you've developed feelings for her while you've been spending time with her. And if you explain this to her I'm sure she will understand. So yeah, I say ask her out, and best of luck to you.

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