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female
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anonymous
writes: Ok, I am 18, and in the last year of sixth form. I am very very very good friends with one of the teachers at our school, he has never taught me and I know him through helping with school productions, he is 29. I really think Ive fallen for him.He has never taught me, and I've never known him in a classroom situation. I only know him out of school. I talk to him and about everything and anything. We are really close. Weve been a out a few times out of school, with two other teachers and some other students and had a great laugh.He's helped me a lot with my university research and has said that when I leave we can still meet up and still stay in touch. I dont know what to do, as am 18 and he's not my teacher can anything happen? Can it when I've left school?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2006): Well you have all been a really great help in all of this, Ive just found out that one of the teachers at my school is seeing someone who left last year... He hasnt been fired so maybe there is some hope. Ive spent a lot more time with him recently, and things just seem right, Im going for a girly holiday for a week so hopefully when I come back my thought will be straighter though I think it will be what to do about it, more than it going away.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2006): Hi There,
Just thought i'd add that I went through a similar situation when i was in school (I'm 21 now). I really got on well with one of my teachers and began to fancy him and think about him all the time. When I left we still kept in touch and spoke all the time and told each other everything like you seem to have done too. I didnt think I could cope without him.
But as i got to know him more I realised the person he was in his personal life was not the same as in school, and othe things clashed between us, after a year or so of this I wanted no more contact as I just didnt fancy or want to be with him anymore.
Anyway the point of me sayin this: maybe you should just wait and see what happens when you leave, you may grow to realise you no longer fancy him or the two of you may grow closer. But dont worry if it doesnt work out, I meet my present boyfriend about a year ago and never been happier and we hope to marry one day!
Hope it works out for you too :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2006): Hey there,
I'm in a similar situation to you myself - I'm in the last year of sixth form and over the past 5 or 6 years I've completely fallen for one of my English teachers who is 31 years old. We're very good friends too - we've met up a few times outside of school and we chat about everything. I can think of nothing but him and it drives me crazy. I think the best thing to do is to keep seeing him socially when you leave school and just see what happens, but remember he might not have the same feelings about you, and there are plenty of fish in the sea if it doesn't work out. Maybe staying friends with him is a better idea. Unfortunately the teacher I've fallen for is about to be married, so I have no chance with him, but we've said we're going to stay good friends and I think this is a good idea; probably for the best given the teacher/ student relationship we've had in the past, and the age difference.
Sorry if I babbled a bit; just wanted you to know I can sympathise with you, and it's not easy but I hope it works out for the best :-) Good luck.
Jess
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A
female
reader, xXx*BabyGurl*xXx +, writes (31 December 2005):
Personally i think you ahould wait - at the school that i go to a girl in my borthers year started dating a teacher that never taught her, this was 5 years after she left 6thform - but when it was found out by the school they were debating whether to sack him... i personally thought this was wrong and we had to put our points of view anonymously to the head of what we though about it, the teachers did it too, the teacher didnt lose his job but he could of well done. so as i said be careful and wait!!!
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A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (25 December 2005):
 Don't do anything until you're completely out of school. Even though you're an adult and you're entitled to be with anyone else who's legal and available, there are still biases against teacher-student relationships, and there will be a fair few people assuming that he seduced you. Yes, it's wrong, but the bias exists, and it's going to be easier all around if there's no question that you're actually equals and that this is not about his power/your submission etc.Once you're completely out of high school, I say continue to see him socially and see where it goes. Do consider though that your horizons really begin to open up at university and you may find guys that are closer to your age and 'on the same page' as you, so this older man may become much less interesting (except perhaps as a friend).Take care.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2005): Well as soon as you leave school...keep in touch with him and see how things go...i think its a lovely story actualy...Your an adult and once you leave (don't quote me on this) i think you can see whomever you wish.
Good luck xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2005): If I were you, I would still keep in touch with him and then see how things go. I wouldn't rush into anything because he still may see you as a student. Like I said, keep in touch but wait a few years, when youre a bit older. He may start to see you more of an adult than an ex-student( although techincally you were never his real student)
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