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Is my boyfriend going off me... or are his folks keeping him on a short leash?

Tagged as: Faded love, Forbidden love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 December 2005) 4 Answers - (Newest, 11 March 2007)
A female , anonymous writes:

Is my boyfriend going 'off' me or avoiding me? I'm really confused.

My boyfriend is an 18 year old muslim and our relationship is a secret to his parents, they are VERY against interracial relationships.

We met at work so we see each other a lot on a day to day basis. then after work we would go out for the evening regularly.

However then during our time off at the christmas period I haven't seen him whatsoever. He calls me and texts me very often. We have flirty chats etc but whenever I mention meeting up he suddenly has a very suspicious case of the bubonic plague! He gives me excuse after excuse. He still lives with his parents (they won't let him go!) so could it be he is under house arrest!... or could it simply be that he doesn't want to see me/is avoiding me.

I'm confused because he still calls me and texts me etc. I said to him casually that if he just wanted time to chill and have some time to himself over the festive season that was fine...and he insisted that 'he missed me' and 'wanted to see me'...hmmm if anyone can shine a light on this strange behaviour then it is gladly welcomed...

View related questions: at work, christmas, flirt, muslim, period, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2007):

My boyfriend is also muslim and is doing this EXACT same thing to me!!!! I don't GET IT! It's seriously confusing and upsetting me. He calls me all the time, tells me he loves me, tells me he misses me but never initiates meeting up. When I mention it, I get excuses like I'll tell you when my next day off is, but he never tells me - so I end up asking again. I just feel like I'm putting pressure on him when I keep asking, but what can I do??? I'm totally confused by this behaviour. Why say you love me, why call me every day saying you love / miss me, why text me every day saying how much you're glad i'm in your life etc, if you don't REALLY want to see me??? What type of game is this?

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A female reader, CherylAhmed13 +, writes (26 December 2005):

I'm Muslim and in islam it is forbidden and a shame to have sex without marriage .... this is the reason...he has to marry you or he is commiting haram...ask him about it, it will make you feel better...also it's not you it ....sounds like he wants you as much as you want him ...he has to ask his father if he can have a wife...if dad says no.... he is out of luck till dad says yes....Good Luck....he may worth waiting for ..muslim men are excellent husbands and make good providers and fathers if you are lucky to marry one....

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2005):

It may be that he likes the attention of the texts and calls etc but just wants a break over the xmas period. If you've already told him that 'chilling' over the break is fine with you and he's still insisted he wants to see you...then what can you do? Simply tell him the signs and that this is the conclusion you've drawn up. I do think his religion and family are a big factor... he may even be embarrassed about his 'short leash' and doesn't want to admit that as a working adult...his parents still have such a hold on him.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2005):

hey..

from my point of view, he is being held back by something. why not u juz have a deep talk with him during break at work or after work? Find out what is really the matter. I f it is the difference of religions, u and him have to make a choice. whether u really love him and he love you.. if you two feel that u really love each other, then one of u have to make the sacrifice of converting.. however, it seems he is not avoiding u as he still texts u often..

this is what i think..

take care..

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