A
female
age
26-29,
*eskaa
writes:I'm 17 and basically, confused about weather I want to loose my virginity or not. I'm one of the oldest of my friends and I'm the only one to be still a virgin. I know that at least a small part of me wants to loose it, but the other half of me is scared stiff, I have masturbated (is that weird?) but I don't think it made me any more clear about what I want. Help!!
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male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (3 October 2012):
Your friends should have absolutely no impact on such an important decision. Most data shows in 10 years, you wont be speaking with any of them anyway.
Just remember, losing your virginity is only something you can do once, with one person, and once its done it can never be undone. I have never heard a single woman later in life claim "I wish I lost it earlier" or "I wish I didnt wait for that special guy." Ive lost track of how many times Ive heard the opposite....
A
female
reader, SOShelp +, writes (5 June 2012):
 Do what you feel is right. If you do it, do it for you, not your friends. it's your body not theirs so they have no rights to it.
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A
male
reader, unknown2u +, writes (2 June 2012):
When I was a teenager I thought my virginity was a curse. In hindsight that thinking was incredibly dumb, but it was what it was. I suppose it was partly peer pressure, and not understanding that peer pressure in its turn made the 'friends' who pressured me lie about their own encounters.The circumstances under which I lost my virginity were shameful and, frankly, sad. Oh, at the moment I was happy that the opportunity had finally arrived, so I let it happen -- I was getting rid of the curse, yippeee! But the next day, and for a great many years thereafter, I've been sad and ashamed.You will have heard people say they'd rather have waited to share such a special thing with someone they truly loved. And you'll have dismissed it as something that 'old people' say. Fair enough, but you did ask, and that suggests that you're thinking about it. From this old person, do think about it. Virginity isn't a curse, and keeping up with your 'friends' isn't always a good thing. And losing it at the right time, in the right way, can be a very happy and treasured memory.
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A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (2 June 2012):
 if you are on here asking weather to lose your virginity or not ,that tells me you are not wanting to lose your virginity but you feel pressured too. don't rush it because your friends have. they can't go back and get a undo. if the truth is known , they probably have some regrets. more than likely they are not with the guy they gave it too. don't be pushed into it losing your virginity by your friends, or a boy. you can give it at any time in the future that you desire.whats the rush ! make a wise choice and don't give your self any regrets to look back on, would be my advice. a boy that will try to push you into sex is only interested in what he can get from you. a boy that is interested in you will not be pushing you for sex.
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A
male
reader, Charter114 +, writes (2 June 2012):
Ive got to say you should wait...I can't get too deep into this conversation, because a lot of women who read this would get mad, and some guys too. But yeah, just wait and do the world a favor. People need to stop having sex so young. It ruins other people's lives sometimes.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2012): It sounds like the ony reason you want to lose it is because you are the only one not a virgin. Trust me, if thats the reason, just say no.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (2 June 2012):
 Masturbating is not weird, but encouraged. Like it was said, it is a good thing for you to get to know yourself before any fella does. That's what growing up is all about.
If a part of you doesn't feel ready - listen to that part, because if you lose your virginity that part will suddenly overwhelm you! When I was your age, I was totally the same. My (younger and older) friends had lost it years before, and I was still a virgin. However, I'm the one who lost it two months in to the guy I ended up marrying... and they're all still single and frantically looking.
It will happen when you feel right about it, and not desperate. You'll just know. So no worries, you're perfectly normal and this Agony Aunt says there is positively nothing wrong with you!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (2 June 2012):
 Then wait til you feel like you are ready. This is a no-take-back thing. So why NOT wait for the right guy and the right time? Instead of doing something you will regret?
The thing you are feeling is peer pressure. What if your friends all wanted to jump off a bridge or do heroin? Would you HAVE to do it too? Even if you know better?
Masturbating is normal. Honestly, I think it's a good thing for a girl to figure out what makes her & her body tick.
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