A
female
age
26-29,
*onfusedgirl2208
writes:hi i need a lot of help i've been going out this 22 year old he says he really like me and i like him my mum found out yesterday and is punishing me by the way i'm 13. I need a way to convince her i haven't had sex yet please help!!!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, victoria rose cleaves  +, writes (7 September 2011):
Hun belive your mom shes right ive been there done that
dont want to ever go back there will be other guys out there that are even
better then a 22 year old man
i had a crush on a way older guy but i found out all he wanted was sex so its better to date guys thst are your age or at least 2 or 3. 4 years older then you. Love yea hope i helped u out
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2008): Look, I know you don't want to hear this but you should not be involved with a 22yo guy. Unfortunately your mother is 100% right to flip out about this.
Letting a 13yo girl date a 22yo guy is like letting a 6yo boy play with a chainsaw.
It COULD work out just fine.
But if you're the 6 year old boy's parents, there's no way in hell you would let your kid play with that chainsaw long enough to find out. The consequences are just TOO severe and life-destroying for him if ANYTHING goes wrong.
The best possible outcome is that the 6yo kid tears something up and learns a little bit about power tools. Is that worth the risk of letting him hurt or kill himself? No. Better to just take the stupid chainsaw away from him, no matter how disappointed it makes him.
And the best possible outcome of this relationship you're in is that you don't hurt yourself too badly, and you learn that 22yo guys are not right for you. But it is far more likely (and far worse for you) that you will end up in trouble with this guy.
This stuff is NOT a game. This guy can be nice and caring and very concerned not to hurt you, and yet he still can emotionally hurt you very badly without intending to. This is what maturity REALLY teaches people about these situations. Good people with good intentions really can still hurt each other if they get into the wrong unbalanced relationships.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2008): I am 22 and I am actually dating a 13 year old girl. We have so much in common and we are so open with eachother. We talk about everything and anything and are able to be ourselves around eachother. I see that you arn't talking to him no more. I don't know him so I can't say you only know him but I love my g/f more than anything in the whole entire world and no matter what i would never let her down. I know she loves me and I would hate it if people were trying to convince her that she's too young to be with me because it is the most amazing relationship it's honestly perfect. Well hope I helped ofcourse it looks like it is a bit too late on that.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2008): yeah me and this guy go out and he is 22 year old and he said he love me and he always ask when are we going to have sex but he know im 14 years and he still try to get with me I know what to do
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A
female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (25 January 2008):
 Good on ya girl, I'm glad to hear it.
Take care hun
xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2008): hi, i can relate to ur situation a litle bit i was 15 wen i started dateing a 27 yr old and from my personal experience its not worth it- you are too young for him, i know u really like him but you will get hurt. you are still young let him go, enjoy life while its simple. if he really likes you he will wait for you till ur 16...my bet is he wont and there is ur answer.good luck
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2008): I'm not surprised, I'd kick his ass too.
I mean, damn. He's 22. If you were like 16-18 I might be able to understand.
But 13?
What the heck were you thinking little girl? Its a dangerous game, and I doubt you were ready for the burn.
Its good to hear you actually used that brain of yours and told this monster to bugger off. Keep it that way.
Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, confusedgirl2208 +, writes (16 January 2008):
confusedgirl2208 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you everyone i know see the point my mum is making it is so nice to have people like you on my side i have broken it off and am never going to see him again
xxxxxxxxxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2008): WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING? I understand you're young and at this point you might not know better. But as i can see, everyone who has responded seems to be more mature. Take the advice of your elders in this situation, get the hell out of this relationship. It doesn't matter if you've had sex or not, you're mom is concerned about the nature of the relationship. Besides, you're 13, you don't need to be dating ANYONE right now. Have fun in being a kid who is about to enjoy being a teenager. You may think you know everything at your age but you don't. Learn from our mistakes and live your life the right way. No man of that age should be talking to you unless he's a teacher or some sort of authority figure giving you advice.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2008): Your mum is correct to be so angry, your 13!!.
haw can u seriously think it is ok to be with a man of 22!.
the best thing for u to do is steer clear of this man, its obvious he is a peadophile!. No 22 yr old man in thier right mind would date or go out with a 13yr old girl!.
So be warned, he is only after 1 thing, get out now before u make the biggest mistake of ur life!.
hope this made things clearer for u.
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female
reader, just-ask-xx +, writes (16 January 2008):
 Okay, you've heard this from everyone now but your mum is right, if you were my daughter I would beat that guy up =] My mum would do that for me as would anyones. 9 years? Think about it, I mean, you're only 13 and he's 22, you might be in love but you have to give the age gap a thought, you might think that age doesn't matter when you're in love and I respect that, I really do!
My little sister is 13 and she met this guy online, he went out with him a couple of times and then, when she realised what he was doing was wrong, she tried to break it off, then he got violent (not saying this guy is) and she told me and we sorted it out.
Not trying to sound pushy or whatever, but surely there's a boy in your class or very near (maybe about a year?) that you're interested in? Just, listen to your mom, moms always know best ;] you'll learn that as you grom up.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2008): Its not your mum who is the only one who is concerned 9 years is a huge age gap. Hape you asked yourself why he hasn't got a girlfriend who is his age. Alarm bells should now be going off in your head. What does he wan't? and im sorry to burst your bubble it isn't you personality and friendship. Get out of there ....x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2008): Sweetie, listen to what I have to say - because I've been exactly through what your going through. When I was younger I went out with a guy a lot (and we are talking A LOT) older than me. At the time I was young and didn't really know what was going on, I was just happy that a mature man was taking an interest in me. It was flattering and it was nice. And he was lovely to me - made me feel grown up and all of that. I thought he was incredible and even thought we were in love. My mum went mental too, but I refused to break up with him. We had sex and everything. But as time went on I began to realise something. He never wanted to know how my day had been or what I was up to at the weekends. We had nothing in common. He just wanted to have sex. It was all about sex. I began to realise that's why he wanted me. He was sick in the head had used me for sex. He was older than me, and wiser - so knew all the right things to say to get me with him. I know right now you probably viewing this guy through rose tinted glasses, but do yourself a favour sweetie and just back away. This sounds so cliche but one day you will look back on this and realise how twisted this guy is and realise how right your mum is. Take it from someone who has been there - I had almost a whole year of therapy to get over what I went through; the constant sex, the way he made me feel; as if i was just meat - you don't want to put yourself in the same situation. It's not nice and it will mess up your teenage years.
Your mum is right to be worried - you're her baby and always will be. She loves you loads and is just looking out for you. Listen to her - she's older, wiser and knows what is going on here.
Take care,
xxxx
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (16 January 2008):
 Sorry but your Mom is just doing her job. If you were my daughter I'd be doing the same but I also would notify the police. There are laws against what he is doing and for good reason too. And since no alarm bells are going off in your head, it's obvious you need the protection of both Mom and Law Enforcement.
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female
reader, kit_e_kat +, writes (16 January 2008):
 Your mother is just looking out for your best interests. Maybe you should explain to her what is going on. He is nearly ten years older than you which is a huge difference. What is the extent of your relationship and where did you meet this man? These are all questions that are running through your mother's mind. He is 22 and probably very sexually active and this concerns your mother. But the age difference suggests to her that he might be an indecent human being if you catch my drift. If he has not pressured into doing anything sexual then that is alright there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with that, but make sure you keep it that way until you are at least of consenting age and you use proper protection. You probably aren't going to persuade your mother otherwise and it's no good sneeking out or anything like that. The best thing you can do is to be totally honest with your mother all the time. Keep her informed when your meeting him and where. It's proably best you keep to public places and do not go to his home if you are going to go to someones home make sure it is your own, but only after things settle with your mother. Just keep telling her the truth and be responsible, hope i helped x x x
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female
reader, bubbloo24 +, writes (16 January 2008):
***You're too young to have sex. Please don't, if he wants to, tell him that he should respect your wishes and say no.
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A
female
reader, bubbloo24 +, writes (16 January 2008):
Hun, I KNOW this won't be what you want to hear... but I think I need to say it.
You need to listen to your mum on this one. It's not right that a 22 year old guy should like someone so young.. in fact, it's not right at all.
Have you thought about why this guy hasn't got a grilfriend his own age?
Have you thought about why he has to go and search for someone much younger to be with?
A man of 22 should not be having relations with a 13 year old.
I know how patronising I sound. But please listen.
You're too young to have sex. Please don't, if he wants to, give in to having sex with him.
Wait till you're older and meet someone new and your own age. I'm sure many ppl will agree with me when I say that you will regret it if you have sex so young and with someone who may well be using you.
I know you like this guy, and this will be hard, but for your own sake, you need to tell him to leave you alone and that it just simply won't work out. Coz hun, it won't. I'm sorry, it won't because of teh reputation he'll get and because of how this relationship will be seen.
I'm not trying to annoy you or hurt you but please, listen to me and try to understand why this can't happen.
Take care sweet xxx
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female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (16 January 2008):
 ok first of all your mum is just looking out for you - wen this happens, it can often end up with the younger girl getting hurt and taken advantage of - not that this will happen to you. she is just doin wat is best for you. it doesnt seem like she knows much about the relationship and this scares her, you are very young and you need to be on your guard. why dont you see if you could organise a dinner or something, so that your mum could meet this guy and see wat you see in him? cos at the moment, to her this guy is just out for one thing, you need to make her see that she can trust the both of you together and feel ok with it, but ill also warn you not to expect too much from her - he is alot older than you and it might be hard for her to understand. if you want more advice feel free to email me, hope this helps hun! good luck xx
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