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If we can't be friends, then I must let him go

Tagged as: Friends, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 June 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 20 June 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

This is related to this question, http://www.dearcupid.org/question/he-is-not-looking-for-a-relationship-but.html if you want a bit more backround.

We lost touch, with busy lives, and I was a bit sad that I lost someone who potentially we could be good friends with. Anyway, he texted me, and we got back in touch; we saw each other mutually at an event, and we couldn't stop talking to each other, and decided to meet up; we finally did thursday.

Here's what I realized; technically we're friends but he keeps going back on the idea of relationships, and it's starting to rattle me, because he keeps on going to the point he doesnt have time for girls, and so on, and only after the meet I realized he was referring to me. Not only that, he mentions how serious of a guy he is, and only goes for serious relationships. As much as he says we're friends, he INSISTS on paying (I haven't paid at all, and I keep offering..), he picks me up...and then I realized it's pretty much half-assed dates instead of a real friend get together.

I don't know, it gets obvious to me we both like each other in the same way, though I'd think he'll have no clue because I don't let him know this at all.

There's no where to go with this, because we have no common friends, and we're both leaving for schools far away from each other.

If we can't be friends, it seems to me I need to let him go, yet if he didn't make things a bit awkward(like picking me up, paying for me) it'd be a great friendship of course. From an outside perspective, I'd say I should probably talk to him that the fact of paying and picking me up is bothering me if we're friends...yet I don't want to hurt his feelings, and I'm not sure if it's worth it to bring this up. I'm not even sure how to bring this up.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2009):

If you want to be friends rather than dating, tell him that you just aren't looking to date him. Even if it is a lie if you say you aren't attracted to him, he might back off on being so instent and give room in your relationship for friendship.

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