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If they cheat once, will they always cheat again?

Tagged as: Cheating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 April 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 17 August 2010)
A female Sweden age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My former best friend got out of a terrible divorce. Then he got together with another woman after the divorce who cheated on him with several people. He found out by catching her in bed with a guy from work. She slept around with other people from their work as well.

They broke up, he felt terrible and probably grew a little depressed. Now he has gotten together with her again and they have been living together for the past 6 months.

I care for his person and wish him the best, but having seen him utterly broken after the woman cheated on him was sad. Is there even a hope for happiness for them? Can cheaters be forgiven or is it just a case of "once a cheater, always a cheater"?

View related questions: best friend, broke up, depressed, divorce

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A male reader, jkirk United States +, writes (17 August 2010):

BULL, people make mistakes. People fall in love and out of love. If a person watches a movie once does that mean they will watch it again. Every person is different.

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A female reader, raiders United States +, writes (29 April 2010):

raiders agony auntI believe in a person rehabilitation, and that a person can change. I don't think a person who cheats will always cheat, but I also feel that if the person did not learn from hers or his experience the cheating will probably reoccur.

For example I cheat on my hubby and he forgives me and we move on like nothing happen the chances of me doing it again are high because I did not pay a price for my infidelity, and was quickly forgiven.

And this example I cheat on my hubby and he leaves me and will not take my calls, will not see me, has me convince that this relationship is over, and I have to do a lot of begging for an opportunity to be heard, and than I get the I will think about it, and I feel like I have really screw things up and I start to think and acknowledge my mistakes. He finally forgives me and takes me back and I still see the indifference in his actions than I will know I have to try harder and regain his trust and his love. At this point I don't think I would cheat again because I would have to pay a high price for my infidelity and would know that by experience.

I feel it depends in each person but if we see it easy the chances of it happening again are high, as to having to beg and see that this relationship might be over, I feel that this person would think twice before cheating again.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (29 April 2010):

CindyCares agony aunt Well,of course "once a cheater always a cheater " is not a scientific law but just a generalization with many possible exceptions.

It makes sense though that if the cheater got away with murder the first time he/she was caught - if he/she,as usually it happens, got forgiven and taken back after a couple of teary arguments - then he/she is not very motivated to stay faithful because he/she thinks that,worst case scenario, he7she will just have to repeat the teary arguments drill again.

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