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female
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anonymous
writes: if a bloke you've been seeing tells you he doesn't want to be with you,yet keeps coming back knowing full well that u love him to bits,and you cant keep your hands off each other is he just using you or too scared to face his true feelings Reply to this Question
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male
reader, iamsoscrewedup333 +, writes (21 April 2006):
he is totally using you for a booty call... Guys can be scum, I know, I have done it. The way he sees it, he can have his cake and eat it too because he can have his freedom trying to hook up with other girls and also have you to do what he pleases. Belive me, once he finds another girl that he really likes, the calls will stop and then you will be hurt even more. You need to tell him that either he "goes back" with you or no more sex, then you will see his true feelings
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2006): If he sincerely loved you he'd be by your side..you'd be number one, dear. When a man loves a woman, he'll do anything to bein her life, fully. So I have a different question for you. Why do you think you don't deserve better? And here's another: What beliefs do you have about yourself that draw you to a guy, who uses you for sex and won't give you affection, love and respect all in one package? No woman deserves what, what he is doing but ask 'why' you permit this. Kick him to the curb..and get over him. Think about this, dear. All this really stinks. What you are allowing is simply an old variation on the theme of dishonoring yourself. Please re-evaluate and cut him off at the pass. Good luck
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A
female
reader, shania  +, writes (21 April 2006):
 Yes....he is using you,the fact of the matter is...he doesn't want a proper relationship with you but if you willing to still have sex with him,then he is going to take it.He is keeping his options open.If i was you i would stop having sex with him and tell him that unless he wants to try again and be a proper boyfriend to you then you dont want to see him...then just wait and see.....if he really wants you back,he will go with your wishes...if he doesn't ,then its obvious you wont see him for dust.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2006): I would love to tell you its because he secretly cant comprehend his true love for you, but from experience, he is probably just using you. The one way to find out is 1) to ask and 2) to step back and say you don't want to be intimate with him. Yes it will be hard, but you will feel a million times better without this weighing on your mind.
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A
female
reader, Sexybum +, writes (21 April 2006):
 He might just be confused about his own feelings and finding it hard to split up with you and stay away from you! Many people get this with exes.
He could also be usuing you like you say. Coming back and getting what he wants and then leaving again...Really I can't tell because I don't know the guy! It will be hard / impossible for anyone on this site to give you the true answer without being inside HIS head and reading his thoughts.....
The real question here is how easy are you making it for him to come back and have a peice of the cake? If he can still have that intimacy with you and still go about doing is own thing (splittin up making up) then he will. He will have no reason to make it work because he will be smitten!
You have to be really careful not to become complacent, because complacent people are miserable with their lives but don't do anything about it, they just plod along hoping that it will make itself better..... I've done this before... In fact I probably only started really waking up when I came to this site!
You love him, therefore when he come to you you want him! You want it all to be ok, if you want it and he's offering it than why not! But then afterwards you get these nibbling doubts, because you know you haven't got the answers/ affection you wanted... What you need to do is put on a sex ban!
Honest its the only way you'll find out. Tell him you not prepared to have sex until you are completely comfortable again... AND STICK TO YOUR WORD! If you don't he will never take you seriously! If he loves you he'll start pulling his finger out if he's using you then he'll go somewhere else and get it! At least you would still have your respect!
Do you like that idea? Do you think yo can do it? Let me know... Sexybum xoxo
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