| A
female
,
*ori
writes: Hello!I am a bit worried because in the past my boyfriend has had a lot of girls before me and he has often cheated on them.We've been together for 4 months and he says he loves me and that he's 30 and mature and his past is behind him,and he doesn't need another girl.I do care for him and begin to love him,but I don't want to end up broken-hearted.Should I trust him and believe in what he says? Do people change with age? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (22 April 2006):
 I agree with Prunella. I think you do have to give him a clean-slate first off. It comes down to innocent until proven guilty. Having said that if he gives you reason to suspect something then dont hesitate to speak to him about it.
One thing I though of while reading this, would you say hes an insecure person?? Some, not all, serial cheaters are insecure people. They cheat because they never feel settled or safe, often they have been cheated on themselves and turn into the opposite. I dont know if you feel this would apply to yourguy but if it did maybe try and make him feel secure and that will tie him down. If not sorri lol.
Hope that helps.
A
female
reader, PrunellaGringepith +, writes (21 April 2006):
 Yes, people can change, and it may be that he has matured and has put this selfish and hurtful habit behind him... but then again, maybe not.
If he seems to be showing the same level of maturity and honesty in the rest of his life, then it might be worth giving him the benefit of the doubt. However, make sure that you enter this relationship with your eyes wide open. He is going to have to earn your trust if you are ever going to make it.
I am not saying that you have to be suspicious of his every move, that is unhealthy for the relationship and for you, but don't be blind either, at the first sign of suspicious behaviour or dishonesty, call him on it.
...............................
|
