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If my boyfriend likes anal does this mean he might be gay?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 May 2010) 10 Answers - (Newest, 22 May 2010)
A female United States age 22-25, *ittlemissy1122 writes:

I have been dating my bf for about 8 months and he is super sweet. A few nights ago while we were just cuddling watching a movie out of new where he ask me if I would try anal sex , he has done it before with his ex gf and said he really liked it. I am not sure if I want to try it but I at the same time I want to for him. I had a few qyestions about it. How bad will it hurt? does it feel good? why do guys like it so much? and because he likes it does it mean he may be gay?

View related questions: anal sex, ex girlfriend, his ex

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2010):

Done right is can be wonderful for both the guy and the girl, but it takes time, patience and care + you're going to have to have complete rust in him to be able to relax. My college GF introduced me to it, and she loved it, and came explosively from it. It was HOT (literally, the temp in her ass was warmer than in her vagina), she was tight and both of our orgasms were incredible. Use lots of quality lube, go very slow and make sure your calling all the shots.

It should never hurt, if it does STOP, regroup and try again. It will take a week or two to get to the point of full on ass pounding butt sex, but it could be very worth your wild!

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A female reader, chigirl Norway + , writes (20 May 2010):

chigirl agony auntNo, him liking anal sex does NOT mean he might be gay. Gay men aren't gay because they love anal, they are gay because they like other MEN. He is into WOMEN and female butts...

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A male reader, 1290uk United Kingdom +, writes (20 May 2010):

1290uk agony auntIt doesn't mean he is or he isn't. As much as a lot of people seem to be suggesting that porn is the reason (some) men find anal attractive, it's actually a little deeper than that (no pun intended). The male g-spot is up there, and it's generally tighter. Or it may just be porn. Either way, some straight men like it (some gay men don't!). I know a few women who really enjoy it, some who don't mind it, and some who hate it. You should think carefully about whether you want to, if he cares about you, he won't mind if you don't think you'd be comfortable with it. If he does, he's a prick. If you do, then you should take it slow, go to the toilet (and clean yourself) first and definitely lube up lots!

How much it will hurt will depend on a few things. It shouldn't if you do it right, but if he's big, and/or you don't use enough lube, it will hurt, a lot.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2010):

I would advise against it but if you decide to go for it, take it slow. Stay in control, which is easiest when you are on top. Then lubelubelubelube. It hurts like nobodys business, and its not worth it in my opinion. Mal

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A female reader, Victoria Emily United Kingdom +, writes (20 May 2010):

My boyfriend loves anal and he is most definately not gay.

I agree with the other posts I think the main attraction of anal comes from guys watching it on porn, then wanting to do it with their gf's.

If you want to try it get him to be very gentle and lube makes it much more comfortable.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2010):

It absolutely doesn't mean he might be gay. Anal sex isn't for everyone some women tolerate it just to please their man and some actually really enjoy it. Use alot of lube and go slow. I would even suggest that you get on top and be in control.

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A female reader, maria14r United States +, writes (20 May 2010):

if you dont feel comfortable with it then dont do it even tho its wat he wants and you want to make him happy but you dont have to do it. now about your questions i have no experience what so ever with that but my baby's dad did almost accidently slipped in there (just the tip) and it was hurting so bad even the next day but i think it was just because it was too fast. maybe if he tries it slowly. from people that i know do that told me that it will feel good after a coulpe of times doing it. i think guys like it so much because its something new or because its tight. no it does not mean he may be gay. hope i answered your questions.

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (20 May 2010):

dirtball agony auntProbably not gay, just watches porn too much. I have no idea if it hurts or how it feels because I've never had it, but with how common it is in porn, that is likely where he got the idea.

A couple of tips if you do try it:

-Go slowly and use lube

-Don't do it if you are uncomfortable about it

-Make sure you go to the bathroom before

Honestly I've never fully understood the appeal, but still a part of me wants to try it as well. Mostly it is on that "bucket list" of sex stuff to try... Good luck, and remember, don't let him rush you. Make the decision if you want to try it for yourself.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2010):

Firstly he is not gay, this is something most males like as its forbidden with most men as women dont like it, he is asking you as he knows this is a sensitive subject most women dont like anal as it is uncomfortable, dont do it if you dont want to if he loves you then he will understand, i myself dont like it but this is just me.

it does hurt if you are not relaxed and by the sound of it your stressing yourself out over it so you will not be relaxed, i would get in the mood and see where it leads but rem always be safe get him to where protection.

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A male reader, RyanS United Kingdom +, writes (20 May 2010):

RyanS agony auntFacts:

1. Not all guys like to do it, even it they fancy seeing it on video.

2. Not all girls dislike it. In fact some girls ask for it.

Once you learn all about it, if you want to try, you can try and then decide if you like it. Your bf should not mind if you don't want to do it.

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