A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am in desperate need for advise! I have been in a relationship for about 4 years with my boyfriend. We have had some major ups and downs but always seem to come back together. The major issue with our relationship is we are from differant countries. I have given up so much to try and make this work. Currently I am living with my boyfriend and not working, spending my savings because I am not legally able to work in the US, i'm from Canada. He has not proposed but talks about getting married. I am so unsure about making a life here. I miss my friends and family so much! I like living here but feel such a lack of security. I have no friends, not close to his family, no job at the moment and I feel I am just sitting here waiting for anwsers as my so called clock is ticking. I love my bf but am concerned if I will ever be happy here 100%. He would not move to Canada because he has a business here. I need to make a major choice and I don't know how to do it. I tried moving back to Canada before but missed him so much I came back. Now that I am here again, I feel like I want to go home. I am just feel so sad to leave him. If I get married and stay here would I always feel lonely? I want to have kids and would love for my wonderful family to be apart. Please HELP. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (18 April 2012):
 I always urge women not to make any big life changes or sacrifices for a man. Especially not on a 'maybe'. If you were already married, or at least officially engaged (that means a date set, a ring on your finger and invitations sent out to friends and family) then I might consider relocating but definitely not before that. I also recommend that women have a back up plan in case things don't work out. Being totally dependent on someone else leaves you vulnerable.Don't take big risks for someone whose hedging their bets. I say come back home until you get some solid answers and proof of intent to back them up. You don't have to word it that way of course.
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