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If I don't ask her out will she be offended?

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 November 2012) 11 Answers - (Newest, 16 November 2012)
A male Australia age 22-25, anonymous writes:

Okay, this one is complicated. Keeping in mind that I am not looking for a girlfriend, riddle me this: the girl I like has found out from other sources that I like her, and I have not confirmed it. Apparently, she likes me and dosn't think I like her, although that's unlikely, seeing as she has known about this for a while and I haven't denied it. My question is this: do you think she would be expecting me to ask her out, and if she is, and I don't, will she be offended/upset? Kepping in mind that I do not want a girlfriend YET (at least not in the current circumstances, yet I still like her) what do you think? And - sorry for going on about it - if I were to ask her out (I haven't ruled the option out, but it's at the bottom of the list) any tips as to how or what to actually do on the date (it would be my first time)? Thanks, Anonymous LOLs

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (16 November 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI totally agree with EWO (as usual)

You are 13 and your hormones are raging... you are way over thinking this.

Dating is fun. But you need to be comfortable with the opposite sex to date... (unless you are gay then you just need to be comfortable with dating in general)

In order to NOT put girls on that magic pedestal you will need to see them just as regular people not something that bites or is magical.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (16 November 2012):

eyeswideopen agony auntCruel? Hardly. I think you are WAY over thinking this. Relax and just talk to her, that's how it's done Buddy.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I think that nice people provide helpful answers without being cruel on advice sites.

Dating, or at least experimenting, is the norm where I am.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (15 November 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntPoor Dear OP, you don’t speak SARCASM yet… 13 year old children cannot date. I could not date at 13 and neither could my kids… boys or girls… even at 15 you are a bit young for dating.

Why can’t you just be friends with her?

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (15 November 2012):

eyeswideopen agony auntWell I have to tell you that I wouldn't let my 13 year old daughters date at your age so MY daughters wouldn't have been offended. Why don't you just call her? At least she will know you are kind of interested in her.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Confused - Thanks for the extended answer, yet that seems a bit formal, not to mention expensive, first date for a thirteen year old. Plus, I am just wondering: will she be offended if I don't??? Same with you eyes. Would she be offended?

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (15 November 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntIf you don't want a girlfriend yet then why even worry about asking her out?

IF you were to ask her out on a date, this is how I would like to see it happen:

You say to her "hey Beth (or whatever her name is don't call her beth if her name is sally) I like you and I was wondering if you would like to go to dinner and movie next Saturday night?"

Then you go pick her up (I guess dad will have to chauffeur you two since you don't drive yet) but you get out of the car and you go knock on her door and you meet her mom and dad (is she allowed to date yet?) you are well bathed and nicely dressed... make sure your pants cover your tush) help her own with her coat... HOLD the car door for her...

you take her to a nice sit down restaurant... hold her chair when she sits down

YOU pay the bill even if she orders surf and turf (do you have $75 dollars for dinner?)

After dinner you help her out of her chair and on with her coat...

then dad drives you to the movies (25 dollars about) (do you have the money for the tickets?) and you buy popcorn and drinks (another 15 bucks)

you can try to hold her hand or put your arm around her during the movie but DO Not try to feel her up....

after the movie you drive her home, walk her to the front door thank her for a lovely evening... if you want to do it again you say "I'd like to do this again soon" IF she's receptive you can kiss her on the cheek and then you watch her get in her house and lock the door behind her and you go home...

That's a lovely first date.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (15 November 2012):

eyeswideopen agony auntWell how about you just call her and have a nice chat. Take little baby steps and get to know her, you don't need to go on a date at this point.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Eyes, in answer to your question, no.

Honeypie - you did not answer my question. Any of them.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (14 November 2012):

eyeswideopen agony auntCan you drive yet?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (14 November 2012):

Honeypie agony auntIf you DO NOT want to ask her out, then don't.

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