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If I could just get him to talk to me we could get the relationship back on track

Tagged as: Breaking up, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 October 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 12 October 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

OK, so me and my ex have been on/off for 4 years.. I love him dearly and when we together he does too. The reason why we are such an on/off couple is because of arguments. When we fight I prefer to talk about it where he prefers to have days to calm down so that's only where we clash.

Before we split we had a few arguments and he broke it off with me. mainly cause he hates arguing. So when he does he goes all stubborn, he ignores me when he sees me, he ignores my calls. We split 3 weeks ago. And I admit I haven't given him the time to reflect cause I slightly scared its the end for good.

Because I haven't left him alone I think he has said stuff such as I don't love you. and move on to make me leave him alone. or maybe I am being naive. Because a week before we broke up he told me how I am the one and breaking up would break his heart. rah rah and one week later he claims he doesn't love me. :S If he means it then he got over me quick boy.

I bumped into him in the pub one night and he ignored me once again. but for one sec we had a little glare at each other.

He says he wants to be single cause its easier then a fighting relationship. he says he can do what he wants. Which I never had a prob with anyhow. he was free to do whatever he wanted. so I slightly confused,

What does people think? how can I talk to him on a friend level and then maybe more. I know I can't force someone into liking you. but if we talk as friends I am sure I can be the girl he loved once again

View related questions: broke up, move on, my ex

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2010):

I had the same problem with mine. Only he has asked for a break for a week and has gone back home. He is nastier to me though, although he does ignore my calls and texts and he tells me that this break is 'my punishment' and keeps saying 'do the crime, do the time' to me. When I didn't do anything...

He constantly walks away from arguments or even when Im just trying to talk to him, i am literally pouring my heart out to him, telling him how I feel and what I am thinking and he is so stubborn he just doesn't talk to me. I don't know what to do. I imagine myself just grabbing him by the shoulders and SHAKING answers out of him. He always gets up and walks away and has no interest in talking things out. He ACTUALLY believes that by walking away from problems they go away. And he calls me crazy and tells me it's always my fault that he acts this way. I don't understand.

Can anyone help us?? Why do guys do this?

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (12 October 2010):

aunt honesty agony auntok well first of you need to cut contact with him for a while, i know you dont want to do this but it is clear he needs some space right now, and darling if am honest with you the more you contact him the more angrier he is going to get at you as he really needs space right now so you have to give that to him. So just go out with your friends and keep yourself busy if you happen to see him smile and say hello but give him space, it will take time for him to come around and then you can start thinking of having a friendship with him and start back at the beginning take things slowly and try not to argue. Am sure he loves you its just he doesnt like the arguing and he thinks its best if you part. Dont worry if he loved you he wouldnt be over you in three weeks he is just telling you things because he wants to be left alone to clear his head.

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