A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my fiance is doing my head in. We are getting married in 3 weeks time, and there is still lots to do, and he just isn't doing anything!!I feel like I have done almost everything, and the things I ask him to do I end up doing myself anyway because he messes them up or doesnt do them at all!Every time i try and talk to him about it, we just end up having a huge blazing row and he calls me a nasty bitch - which I feel I am after I tell him how useless he seems to be. But he does! and i dont know what else to do.If I dont tell him, then I'm gonna end up doing eveything myself and its not fair its wearing me out and making me ill.if he's like this now how will he be after we're married?! I shouldnt be thinking that, i should be happy and inlove. For crying out loud I am so stressed!! please help me
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female
reader, penta  +, writes (7 August 2007):
 He'll probably be like this after too, but you won't be as stressed out and it won't matter.
Give yourself a break about the wedding -- it's only one day. The marriage is what counts. (I say this after having driven myself insane insisting on the 'perfect' wedding, which never happens, and didn't, but am happily married [grin]).
A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (7 August 2007):
 Take a deep breath - breathe in, breathe out. You are suffering a major case of bride-to-be melt down. Don't be too hard on the guy, men are just not good at planning weddings and handling all the fluff that goes along with it. What you need to do is recruit your girlfriends, sisters, sister-in-laws, mother and mother-in-law-to-be, aunts, etc. if you want help with your wedding plans. Don't leave it to the future groom. If he had his way, he'd probably rather elope. Before you throw him out the door, just step back and think about how he handles other situations in your relationship prior to the stress of the wedding. Was he capable of running errands, managing his bills, handling other tasks? If so, then he's not a total boob. He probably knows this is your BIG day and you want it done perfectly (doesn't every bride?) so no matter what he does, it's probably not going to measure up because you are s-u-p-e-r stressed right now. Don't let the wedding spoil the life you are planning to have together. It's only one day. Keep your eyes on the big picture and you'll be fine. xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2007): Most men don't get involved in planning things like weddings & baby showers, etc. My boyfriend didn't help at all when I was getting everything I needed for our 1st baby, and we fought about how I was doing everything. He didn't help get her 1 thing. But that's how it is. The woman plans & makes arrangements & the man just has to be there. I was worried as well like if he isn't involved in getting things prepared for her arrival, how will he be as a father?? But he is a very good father. Men just leave the "girly" stuff to us women. Don't worry, can you get a sister or a friend or a mother to help you out? He shouldn't be calling you a nasty bitch, but if you're treating him badly when confronting him, maybe he feels you are being one. But I still don't think he should say it. Remember to treat him as you'd like to be treated..
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A
female
reader, chrissy32789 +, writes (7 August 2007):
 hey hun i just got married in may to my husband and he was the same way except he did not call me names. But i would tell him to go to the store and get this and get that and he never did it right, i had to do everything myself, but a wedding is very stressful for the both of you you both are going to be fighting alot intil the wedding. Then after that it is better, but rushing to get things done when you only have 3 weeks puts stress on you and all you do is fight, but it will get better. and Congrats!
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