A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:dear cupid, i have a problem. im 18 years old and in college. i have alot of fun and love my life. i have known robert for three years now. for the first two years we were very good friends and very close. we talked for hours a week and hung out constantly. a year ago i told him i wanted to be more than friends. i just suddenly decided that i wanted to be with him. there was another girl he had already fallen for but he had wanted me for so long too. i didn't know about her at first. i waited about four months we dated for two months and he left me for no reason and didn't talk to me for three months and we have been slowly talking for the last three months and he now tells me everyday he talks to me. he has told me how much he misses me. how beautiful i am. how much he messed up leaving me. that they are just friends and he doesn't even see her that way. he is trying to get us back to being friends. we haven't done anything but have hard times for the last year and i want my best friend back. he said he'll do "whatever it takes" to get us back there and he knows he can do it. but the thing is he never calls or sees me in person. only text and email. i have talked to him on the phone one time since we broke up and he didn't let me get off for six hours. i think he can't see me or hear me because it hurts him. what do i do? it kills me when he says those things. i don't know what he wants. if he wanted me he knows he could have me. please help
View related questions:
best friend, broke up, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2009): If he's serious about wanting to fix things, then he'll make the effort to see you and talk to you. He may be scared, but texting/e-mail is no way to rebuild trust and intimacy.
Also, he may have something else going on in his life that he hasn't told you about yet, and needs the familiarity of your friendship and may only be saying that he wants a relationship because he thinks that what you want to hear. The fact that he spent 6 hours on the phone is telling, he is lonely or scared about something, but in my opinion is not looking for a relationship but a friend.
You need to tell him that if you two are to try and have a relationship at all, whether friends or as a couple, then things are going to have to move beyond texting and e-mail. Suggest coffee at first and let things progress from there.
Good luck!
|
