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If he has a girlfriend, I don't want to be used, how or do I try to find out for sure?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 June 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 19 June 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hi,

I really need some advice on trying to figure this guy at work out.

It's a bit of a long story but I would appreciate your views/comments. Thank you.

Well me and this guy have worked in the same building for about two years but not in the same department or area. We are always chatting and flirting and one day I said I had a spare ticket for a comcert and he basically invited him self along, but I was really happy about that, however, on the morning of the concert he cancelled on me but didn't say why, I did ask him if he had a girlfriend and he said no. Anyway, after that things were a little awkward between us until about 8 months ago when we started getting on really well and we ended up having a bit of a kiss and cuddle, it was great and I have fallen for him deeply and I think about him all the time, however, I have just heard that he has a girlfriend, I am gutted because we were getting really close, he doesn't know that I have found this out and I am not entirely sure that he does (the person that told me might not be right)but if he has then I feel terrible that we kissed and it probably would have went further if I hadnt have stopped it. This guy knows I am shy and am not very good with blokes and he very confident, he is always giving me compliments and he also helped me when I was getting bullied by other colleagues, he has always been there for me but I feel that he was just trying to get close to have a fling with someone he thought was vunuarble at the time due to the bullying. I love out chats but like I said I have falllen for him big time but if he has a girlfriend how can I move on?

This might not be relavant but he has a bebo page which is blocked but he said he would add me to his friends list but I am not on bebo (haven't got a clue how it works). But if he had a girlfriend surely it would be on that and he wouldn't have added me.

Again thanks for reading.

View related questions: at work, bebo , bullied, flirt, has a girlfriend, move on, shy

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2009):

You write about this guy at least once a week and you already have gotten a lot of advise but it doesn't seem like you really want to do what others have told you. ASK him. He's cancelled on you, he doesn't ask you out or anything and yes, you are probably being used and you know it. You've felt this way about him for a couple of years and you kiss him but he never takes you out on dates or antying to imply that he wants you as a girlfriend. You've been told you are wasting your time but you don't want to get over him is what it boils down to. You keep claiming that you feel hurt and used but you do nothing except continue to flirt and let him use you.

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