A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi there I am such a mess right now and really need some advice: My boyfriend and I have been together almost a year we get on so well and have recently we have have had a few minor disagreements - nothing really bad but more so than usual - nothing I feel we should break up over. He is 27 I am 31. He opted for redundancy at his latest job as it's something that he really was not into and has a bit of money put away and has been without a job for 5 months now as he is unsure what to do and what he wants to do. He really wants to travel and nearly went early on in our relationship and then decided not to go. He probably would have gone for a few months and we would have stayed together and then he would have come back. But he still has the urge to do it and because we have had a few weeks where we have not gone as well this has made him feel he should still go away - he told me loves me but has been offered an amazing opportunity abroad to go diving which he loves, but then again I am in the UK and have a good job here - if I go and don't like it I could end up resenting him and if he stayed here he could end up resenting me. We miss each other terribly when we are not together so I think we would both find it so tough if he did go and I didnt. This is my first long term relationship for a while and his first ever longterm relationship - he is lovely and is a real gentleman and treats me so well and is awfully considerate - I have been a bit inconsiderate recently which has triggered alarm bells with him - I am very independant and find it hard to adapt to a relationship so sometimes I think I carry on as if I am single - I need to realise there is someone else in my life too. I have kept him waiting round on several occasions and have stiched him up and few times recently when we were meant to meet - because of work commitments. I was really apologetic and felt very bad for doing this - but he is still dwelling on it as a reason to perhaps cut and runHe said he wants to give it try and see how things go but there is a possibility he may still go away. The only thing keeping him in the Uk right now is me. I am very devastated but unsure what to do and if we can come to a compromise.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (10 July 2013):
 6 months to a year is a very doable break.
If it was me I'd miss my guy terribly but I'd encourage him to go...
will you be able to see each other at all during the time he's away?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2013): This could be for 6 months - perhaps a year(I am original poster)
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (10 July 2013):
how long will he be gone?
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