A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:There is a guy I've really liked for a while, and I've been told that he likes me as well. But he already has a girlfriend and two young kids (one with his current girlfriend, and another from a previous relationship).Obviously a relationship between us right now is out of the question, since he's taken and I will not go after another girl's boyfriend, no matter how much I like them. But people have told me that the relationship probably won't last long, and as such keep pushing us together. At a night out the other weekend, they even told me 'go on. His girlfriend's not here.' I didn't go after him, but I did try to stay reasonably close, just to be around him, mostly. I can handle not being with him, as long as I can see him occasionally.But if him and his girlfriend did split up, should I go after him, or wait to see if he decides to come to me? And if I did go after him, how long should I wait after the end of the relationship to make a move?Obviously I do not wish for their relationship to end. I wouldn't wish that, and I like him too much to place my desires over his own. If he was happy with his girlfriend and they never split up, I'd be overjoyed for them. I'm just asking hypothetically, if such an event ever occurred.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2008): Dear Poster
I suggest you forget about this guy; yes, I know it might sound harsh, but should this guy break up with his present girlfriend; I am sure his life will be rather complicated; He has two children to take care of, pay maintenance to and pay attention to; you will always have to deal with the ex's and they will always be part of your lives; he will have quite a lot of emotional baggage and might need lots of time to sort out his life and get his life in order. Why would you want hang around with him? WHY not find somebody who's life might be less complicated and with whom you do not have to share? Somebody with less baggage and to whom you can be the one and only.
Think of yourself, why would you want to settle for second best or third best;
I suggest you forget about him and his girlfriend and let them try and live there lives; if they work things out great, but even if they don't; let him be; find yourself somebody else. Why hang around waiting to see what will happen between them. You are wasting good time that you could use to have FUN and meet the right guy that you could settle with and have children with.
You DESERVE the best! Reach for the stars.
Hope this is of assistance.
Best wishes and keep SMILING.
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