A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So my friend just confessed to having feelings of wanting to be with me. And to be honest, I'm considering it. But the thing I'm taking into consideration is that it would be long distance. She's working in another country and lately I've only been hearing from her like once every three weeks. She works hard everyday, always doing overtime just to earn as much as she can. She's working to support her family, and given a choice, she will always choose her family over everything else. She is nice and I like her... but I don't know if a good relationship could be born considering the circumstances. Chances are, I won't see her in person for at least a year. Could it work?
View related questions:
long distance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 December 2012):
 If you hear from her once every three weeks, she’s just not that into you. I would not tie myself down to someone who is so far and you won’t be able to see. I’ve done LDRs. The only one that worked was the one where we saw each other regularly..(every weekend once we were serious) and we planned to end the distance as quickly as possible.
Even when we were apart, we had daily contact.
I called him every morning at 8 am when I was not with him at his request to start his day. I also called him every night when I got into bed (at his request)…. He would call or email me during the day otherwise…
NOT seeing each other for AT LEAST a YEAR? It’s not really a relationship. I’d pass if I were you.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (3 December 2012):
 No. LDRs are difficult and only last if people are willing to MAKE the time and the committment to keep them alive and strong. This is not your case, unluckily.
Frankly, I am even skeptical that she is SO interested. You hear from her every three weeks ???. Aw come on. Not even if she was working in the salt mines. Now with the modern technology it takes seconds to have all the world within your reach. I undersdtand that she can be too tired or preoccupied for long phone convos,.. ( then again, if she was in love, she would make the effort, trust me, at the cost of cutting down on sleep hours ).. but how long does it take to shoot a daily text or e-mail " I love you " " I miss you ", " I am thinking of you " ?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2012): It could work if you were nuts about each other and put a lot of time and effort into making it work. But your friend has other priorities and spends the bulk of her time and energy, working to support her family. A commendable thing to do but it means she can only offer you limited time and attention. If you are okay with that, then it might work. But if you seek more from a relationship...and who could blame you...then i would keep this as a friendship. That way you still get to catch up occasionally but you are free to date and do as you please.
...............................
A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (3 December 2012):
Yes of course it can work but only if you both make it work. Agree to write long letters, and use skype, and save up for an airfare, it doesn't have to be a year till you see each other if you really dont want it to be.
...............................
A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (3 December 2012):
 Depends on the both of you. Some relationships can survive, others are rocky.
Write a list of the pro's and con's of being with her
and see what list comes out with more ... and follow that!
Goodluck!
...............................
|
