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I wonder where I would stand if I hadn't been a year behind my friends. What do you think?

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Question - (13 September 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 14 September 2007)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, *ndy00 writes:

Perhaps it's wrong to dwell on the past, and something that I cannot change, but something has recently occured to me.

2 years ago, just before I first met my girlfriend face to face after chatting online for about 5 months, I had exams to sit. They didn't work out as I'd hoped, and as a result I had to take a year to bump my grades up through a course in Media. In the mean time, me and my girlfriend met up on 13 different occasions over 2 years.

In June, she split with me, because she thought that when she went to University, maintaining our type of relationship would be too difficult. I would have been going to uni had it not been for my exam results.

I know I might not have strictly gone to the same Uni as her. In fact, it's very unlikely I would have done. But now I wonder, if I had got my results, maybe things could have worked out. Not only my girlfriend has gone away as a result of my exams. Most of my old friends are going to university, and I may/may not have joined them if I wasn't a year behind.

I know you can't change the past, but I can't help but wonder if things would have worked out with a few important things in my life, if I had only passed my exams. What do you make of all of this?

View related questions: my ex, university

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A female reader, howcomehoney France +, writes (14 September 2007):

howcomehoney agony auntGrandmother quote: If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we'd all be very fat (I don't think my Grandmother quoted it correctly, never mind).

To put it another way, what's done is done. You can't change anything, so there's no point in dwelling on it and making yourself miserable over what could have been. The only thing you can do is take a lesson from it - study for exams in the future!

You have a whole life ahead of you, and I guarantee that there will be more friends and more girlfriends. University tends to split friend-groups up anyway, because most school-friends don't end up going to the same universities. Next year you'll be starting on your own university course, and you are going to meet a lot of new people.

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A male reader, Tommy7 United States +, writes (13 September 2007):

What might have happened is not worth thinking about. It's like saying if I had left the house 15 minutes earlier I wouldn't have been in that accident. What you need to think about now is what you are going to do next.

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