A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Lemme start off by saying I'm not trying to sound selfish or spoiled or anything alone those lines. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months and I love him very much. He says he loves me but sometimes I wonder if actions so speak louder than words. He tells me he loves me and even talks about marriage, but he never buys me anything or takes me anywhere special. Am I just being a baby or are his actions speaking louder than his words? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, No watered down advice here! +, writes (10 January 2011):
 If you don't feel it in your HEART, and you're questioning his love for you based on his actions vs. his words. Then I say his love isn't meeting up to your standards. Is that wrong? I don't think so. If you don't set your standards, Who will you trust to set them for you? You must set them YOURSELF,FOR YOURSELF or you'll find YOURSELF just settling for anybody that says they love you.
A
male
reader, LovelessAct1 +, writes (10 January 2011):
Like everyone says, yes, actions do speak louder than words, but actions such as buying you things aren't a measure of love. Guys show their care in different ways and I think the actions you should look at are plainly how he treats you and acts around you. If he's consistently kind and gentle, or at the very least, understanding, he's showing that he cares.
Money spent does not prove anything. Look at the father who works hard to provide his kids with a future, and buys his family expensive things, but doesn't spend time with them or care about their personal lives. That's not love. Anyone can buy a flowers or jewelry or pay for dinner; its spending quality time with you and wanting to get to know you more that is the real sign of true love.
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A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (10 January 2011):
 Actions are important, but the big picture really needs to be looked at. Some men show their love with gifts and trips and expensive dates. Some other men show love through services like cooking dinners or putting in time pampering women or taking care of the kids to give wives time to relax. Still other men show love with holding hands or cuddling or massages and foot rubs. Can we say that any one of there men is showing True Love and the others are not?
Your guy might just not be really big on gifts. Try to be more open to other ways he's trying to show his love.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (10 January 2011):
 Actions do speak louder than words, but not every action is important to gauge whether this man loves you or not. It seems to me that you have some specific actions in mind as proof of love. I don't think those are the actions you should be monitoring. Does he honestly care about you? Does he treat you well? Do you see him going an extra mile (not an extra dollar, mind you) for you?
By the way, what actions are you taking for him?
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (10 January 2011):
 Actions do speak louder than words but, what if he just is not particularly good at taking action? Why not talk to him about it, suggest a place to go, just subtly let him know that you do like going to special places and that the occasional gift would be appreciated. I suppose it all really depends on his behavior around you, does he show a lot of affection? Is there intimacy in your relationship? Those sort of actions prove his words are true.
I hope that helps.
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