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I wish my teacher knew I liked him

Tagged as: Forbidden love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 March 2009) 12 Answers - (Newest, 8 May 2009)
A female United States age 26-29, *eacelovecandy writes:

Ok... so I'm 14 years old (I know, I'm "too young for love, shouldn't be thinking about this kind of stuff", but save it for someone else please!) and I have a hugehugehugehugehugehuge crush on my Civics teacher! I was just assigned to his class in February and I've only had him for a little more than a month. He's very young, not 18 or anything, but I am pretty sure he's in his 20's. Anyway, he is so handsome and gorgeous! During class, I cannot stop staring at him! I know he catches me a lot, because he gives me a weird look sometimes, and other times I catch him looking at me.

I stay after class almost every day to talk to him about SOMETHING! I usually make up an excuse to stay after to talk to him. Most of the time I say "but my grades are dropping", even though I have a 94 in his class. He thinks I'm responsible so he agrees to helping me afterschool on some days. I didn't go yet, but I am going to this week. I feel weird around him... he's really really nice and very sweet but I just wish he knew I liked him! All of my friends know, but he doesn't. I just want to let it out. I was so close to (after class one day) just blurting out to him that I liked him.

It's soo hard and I don't know what to do! He's always in my mind, he's in my dreams... and it won't stop. I don't want to stop liking him! He gives me excuses to skip choir sometimes if I feel sick, unlike how most teachers would say, "oh I'm sorry I can't do that for you". I don't know if that's bad or not, but I'm never actually sick. I just say to him I am so I can stay after. He obviously does not get the hint that I like him, even though I always say hi to him in the hallways and always try to talk to him.

Today he moved me up to the very front of the room where he stands to talk. He made me the first person to answer a question (we have worksheets) when we go around the room. I was literally grinning when he moved me up front because when he talks infront of the class he always stands by my desk! When he's talking he usually stares me in the eye, and I'm really not listening to him, but he thinks I am paying attention. He has really pretty eyes and I like to look at them but it's hard to, because I don't want to be caught staring at him!

I have him for 80 minutes of the day and it is like pure bliss! I hate Civics, politics, etc. but I told him I love the class. He says I'm an excellent student. I really wish he would just get a hint that I like him... how do I do that?

And by the way :( Please don't scream at me telling me how "it's disgusting, it's wrong, he can lose his job, you're too young" etc. I know, I know! I can't help it and I'm sure a lot of people have gone through this, too! :(

View related questions: crush, my teacher

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2009):

Huge mistake. If he does anything he'll go to jail and YOU will be responsible. Well he will really :P but you shouldn't do anything.

Also if anyone finds out you will be the laughing stock of the whole school. And he is LEGALLY OBLIGATED to tell. Do you want that on your permanent record? No thankyou! Just fantasise, fantasies are ALWAYS better than real life.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2009):

Hey Hun!

I know how you feel as im the same age as you and im in Love with my teacher!..

I find it so hard not to think about him!

Its like i only want to be with him and only him!

I always think about what he would be like as a Husband or a father!

And i am to sick of people sayin grow up it will never happen but you know it just might!

I think you should tell him when you leave school!,

As i want to be a German teacher i want to go back to my school and tell my teacher how i feel about him even though he is married with kids!

But i dont want to ruin his life!

Maybe you should get a card and a present for him at the end of the year sayin what a great teacher he is and for all his help!

Well..look at my question! its about my fave teacher!

Good Luck Hun!!

xxxxx

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A female reader, Lolabc United Kingdom +, writes (26 April 2009):

Ok. I told my teacher i liked him ( im 12, hes 35) and he smiled and thats all that happened. I thonl he told the head though nd maybe my mum bcuz she now bugs me sayin oooh u fancy mr d nd i have to act lile no wth did u get that from. So u might get embarassed but thats is. Btw best time to tell him is alone in a after school or lunch club

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2009):

I know how you feel, but don't tell him you like him.

I did that to my teacher in grade 8 and now I'm deeply in love with him..

I regret it every day that I told him.

Maybe you could, but don't act differently just because you told him (I did)

I told mine he was hot and all these different things because I thought it was okay since he knew I like him.

DONT DO THIS!!

bad idea.. haha.

i wouldnt reccomend it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2009):

I wish that before (when it was just a crush), i had done nothing because the problem is you end up getting very attached to them as an equal, but they can not treat you as an equal. They will be essentially selfish in the relationship because they are always looking out for THEIR best interest. If they are willing to put their job at risk there will be a reason.

I just believe that if they are in love with you.. really in love with you. They will resign and go and work somewhere else as a teacher. If not, then they will proceed to use you to their ends until it becomes too risky and then they will distance.

Also the problem is you have to consider what kind of man (who is in a position of trust) would proceed to have a relationship with one of their underage students? I mean you know if he looks at you that way, he will look at your friends that way.

I mean lol, consider the idea of a man his age wanking over girls your age?

:S to put it bluntly.

Sometimes it is better to wait until you are no longer a student. There is no chance whatsoever of having a normal relationship with this man whilst he is in authoritive position over you.

Also, forget the fact it ruin his career etc... that people are saying. Think about you, how this would affect you. Don't worry about him, he;d find a way of protecting himself. If you persued something with him you could potentially;

Be expelled, be moved out of his class. Everyone would find out. If it got any publicity you'd be blackmarked. People might think you wanted better grades. People might consider you a slut. (even if its not true.)

I mean how would you feel if when you told him you liked him he said, 'oh reallly???' and then put his hand on your thigh?? Would this scare you? Would you still have respect for him?

I remember when i was 14.. and i came on this site also lookin for advice. And often i felt as if people always just lectured you on how young you are, and you should be with someone your own age and etc... etc... I dont know you so i can't say your too young to feel this way, but i can say you should not tell your teacher how you feel. If you feel obligated that's your decision but just be prepared for the consequences.

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A female reader, kitty_3 United States +, writes (10 March 2009):

kitty_3 agony aunti agree with what the first poster said... if you tell him, you should wait a few years before you tell him... and make sure your not in his class. preferably, when you're out of the school.(he'll feel less "wrong" about it then...)

i'm going through something very similar so if you ever want to talk, PM me! good luck! :)

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A female reader, groovgal United States +, writes (10 March 2009):

When I was in highschool I had a huge crush on my english teacher. Its typical for young students to crush on their older teachers. I am now 25 and sometimes we run into eachother if I go back to my hometown. He sometimes jokes around that he knew I had a crush on him. We are friendly now.

But telling him that you have a crush is going to make the situation uncomfortable. He will never date you, nor will he reciprocate the feelings. If in fact he did, he should not be teaching young adults, and we all know where that would lead.

Just enjoy looking at your teacher and admiring his beauty, and in ten years from now, when you bump into him, you will be glad you never confessed your undying love for him. Because if indeed you did, you would be removed from his class. He would not risk his teaching career. Regardless of what you may think.

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A female reader, peacelovecandy United States +, writes (10 March 2009):

peacelovecandy is verified as being by the original poster of the question

peacelovecandy agony auntA mental little girl? Gee thanks. Your replies are rude and I hope that you just stop answering, please. Don't even reply to this.

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A male reader, ArmyMedic United Kingdom +, writes (9 March 2009):

ArmyMedic agony auntHe would report you because you are a mental little girl and you would be jeopardising his career! he also needs to protect himself for girls like you as it only takes one claim against him and he's in deep trouble. Therefore he reports to his boss, you get taken out of his class and he is protected, you are humiliated but hey it's all part of growing up!

OR YOU COULD JUST LEAVE IT!

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A female reader, peacelovecandy United States +, writes (9 March 2009):

peacelovecandy is verified as being by the original poster of the question

peacelovecandy agony auntHe wouldn't report me or anything! I know he wouldn't. He would keep it a secret for our sakes. I just don't know how he would act. My mom knows I am crushing on him.

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A male reader, ArmyMedic United Kingdom +, writes (9 March 2009):

ArmyMedic agony auntYou know all the negatives, so DON'T tell him! Because he will avoid you like a hypodermic syringe full of hepatitis!

And he'll have to tell the Headteacher who will tell your parents.

This has BAD idea written all over it!

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A female reader, mysterious_blonde_lady United Kingdom +, writes (9 March 2009):

Sometimes it's better left unsaid... i really liked my teacher too when i was your age. Now I'm 18. I let him know i liked him, and he liked me too and well... i thought uno optimistically that someting might happen... but everything went wrong. It just doesnt work when they're your teacher beccause of the position it puts them in. If you tell him you like him, you've got to accept that he may start avoiding you and feeling awkward around you... i duno maybe wait a few years? Still feel the same way at 16... you be better telling him then.

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