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female
,
anonymous
writes: I have been with my fiance for four years. We are getting married in January. We have always been very open sexually, and we have always been very relaxed and trusting. There have never been any jealousy issues, and we have always told each other everything. I am perfectly fine with him viewng porn etc. a few months ago when cleaning our flat, i found a load of porn magazines hidden away. I though this was strange, and was very upset by it. When i confronted him he seemed reallyguilty, but i wasn't angry about the porn, just that he'd hidden it from me. Anyway, last week he came home and confessed that he had just come staright home from a massage parlour, and had had sex with a prostitute. I was gobsmacked. I don't know what to think or do. Any advice would be welcome.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Angel ron +, writes (18 April 2006):
 Take my advice don't marry him get rid of him.
A
female
reader, Mariels +, writes (18 April 2006):
Hello,
He's acting as though the world is going to end or something so he's cramming in all his sexual fantasies! All you're doing is getting married in a few months. He should be enjoying the run up to it with you, not delving into porn and going to massage parlours. He's just cheated on you. He's going through some kind of crisis and maybe he doesn't really eant to get married, hence the extreme behaviour. some men really can't tell the truth and say how they feel, so they just do stupid things instead. Please don't say you will continue sleeping with this man after he has been with a prostitute and cheated on you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2006): So are you saying that b/c he didn't tell you about the porn mags and the whore that it is not okay? If he told you about it would it be okay? If you have an open relationship this is what happens....do you really want that?
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A
female
reader, chachacha  +, writes (18 April 2006):
I don't think it is normal for a man who is getting married to visit a prostitute.
You should ask him why he did - what is it that he is trying to get from the prostitute that he is not getting in his life generally. Does he really want to settle down.
You also mentioned that you have an "open relationship". Is that really what you want? Be honest with yourself and then with him. Honesty is always the best policy.
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