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female
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anonymous
writes: I am 27 year old, my bf is 28, we made love once a week and we live in just 4 miles away. He is the one I first time have that strong desire and every time when we made love, he likes to talk dirty saying "I want to # you everyday" but we did not make it. He told me that he masturbates everyday, so do I or sometimes even 3 or 4 times. I told him we should meet more often but lots of time we met at cafe or school, if he did not initiate it I am shy to say that, I tried sometimes asking him to come over, most time he rejected me saying he was too busy stuff which made me feel horrible. I know he also has a high sex drive, he told me he made love with his ex at least four times each week last summer. Which made me feel unwanted and I am not that good enough for him. He does spend lots of time on Gym and drinks at bars, so what? what is wrong with this relationship?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2006): Read "The Rules"...excellent book on how to make a guy respect you...it's not about playing games. It basically tells you to not call guys...only call them after every fourth or fifth time they call you. And don't agree to see a guy the same nite he calls you or even the nite before (don't be that available). It also helps in relationships with your friends and family and though it's based for girls i think there is one out there for guys...good luck!
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female
reader, chachacha  +, writes (18 April 2006):
It is not clear how long you have been dating him - but it sounds like you are not properly communicating with one another.
If the relationship is serious, then you should be able to have a discussion about your expectations about how often you meet up with each other.
Sex takes time (not always that long with some blokes, sadly) but the time that it takes is time that you are not spending getting to know one another better and talking with each other.
When you are not living together, you can't really expect to have sex everyday, but you should cherish the times you do have it, and at some point, if it works out and you do move in together, then you might be able to have some in the mornings before work or before bed, and still build a quality lifestyle and relationship.
It is normal for him to go to the gym and to go out for a drink with his mates, and you should support him in this. You should have your own interests too.
But what you can do is say "when are you planning to go for a drink with your mates, as I will arrange to see my mates that night too" then you can say "which nights shall we see each other? as I want to make sure that I have time free to spend with you when you are free".
Remember that you must have a balance in your own life - so then you'll have something new to talk about when you do meet up. And you'll be much more attractive to him if he feels that you are not always necessarily going to be there waiting for him, and with nothing else in your life.
Good luck
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