A
male
age
36-40,
*truggle
writes:When I was young I was abused by my older brother, he told me that it was all ok and it's a game that older men play. This happend on many different occasions. Im a male, 20 years of age and ashamed and scared of life. I cant get a girl friend and if i get close to a girl I find it difficult to meet too her needs. I can't get myself to leave the house to meet new people, and I hold a lot of anger for my brother. I would beg for any advice good or bad on how you feel or if you have been in the same situation before.Thank You
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2009): i know excatly how you feel about getting raped. i was raped by my step dad and once my brother my ex bestfriend tried but didnt secceed. therapist cant help ive been there and ive been diagnosed with anxiety and abandonment disorder and guess what im only 15 years old. i understand what you mean when you say your angry yes im still going through that phase my mother is still in love with my step father and i still say step father because she hasnt devoriced him yet. he writes my family every couple of weeks and i also get letters from him. i never read them i can say i did read the 1st one and then i lit on fire since then my mom wont give me the letters because she told him that im disrespecting him and that im a trader she has no idea how i feel she talks about him all the time and its very annoying. they had 1 child together my little sister she is 11 years old. i understand thats her father and she doesnt understand what he did to my sister and i but hopfully in a year or two she will because anyone who can still love someone that did that is honestly a sick her person. yes he raped my sister too. the 1st time my sister was raped she 7yrs old it stopped at 16 yrs old and now she has a daughter that is 2yrs old. i love her daughter very much but at the same time it does hurt knowing that she is there daughter it does disgust me. the 1st time i was raped i was 9yrs old it stoped when i was 12 1/2-13 yrs old. he also burned me with a piece of metal which he lit. he'd do this all the time and now i have burn marks all over my legs. i never go to the beach or swimming i dont even wear shorts or skirts unless im at home. he has ruined my life and still is. he still holds power over my mother and 2 sisters not the one that was raped his daughter and my other is who is one year younger than me. she and my younger sister and mother all love him and talk to him and write him all the time it pains me that they do this and next year i will be moving out because i cant deal with it i know how it feels to have so much hate inside because i still have it. im not sure what to tell you because i havent gotten better yet and its been 2 years, but i will tell you this i found a wonderful guy who im in love with even though hes older than me. age is just a number and it never matters. i can tell you this it will get better it has to. the way i get my feelings out is writing. idk what to say but i hope things to get better and i do pray for you. i know how you feel becasue my best friend whose a guy was also raped by his brother and he tried to kill himself. that doesnt solve anything and believe me there are plenty of times where ive tried to do that too, but havent secceed. i would love to die but at the same time i would hate it because theres always that one person out there for you and you have to get off your ass and go find her or him and ive found him and you cant stop fighting for that person if you really want something you got to go get it no one else will get it for you. so please dont give up hope, have faith because im here for you.
crystal...3
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2008): I'm so sorry love...This must be so hard on you. Please know that I am praying for you. You may try to find a therapist who will come to your home and help you through these awful feeling you are carring around. Please know that my heart is going out to you.
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A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (6 July 2008):
 oh sweetheart im so sorry for wat he put you through, i cant imagine how difficult it is for you to deal with. my advice is to go to counselling and seek professional help. you need to talk about this and deal with it and hopefully move on. i think that if you become used to being more open about wat happened (which is wat you will learn in counselling), it will be easier for you to be open in other aspects of your life i.e new ppl and potential girlfriends.
the reason why your finding it hard to meet new ppl and have a relationship is probably because you are afraid that getting close to someone will eventually result in getting hurt or betraying you again.
i hope some of this has helped hun, please email me if you wanna talk or anything, good luck xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2008): Brother or no brother, if you were sexually abused go to the police and report it. It's still a crime no matter who the perpetrator is.
I know - it's easier said than done but it's probably the only way you'll be able to put it all behind you..
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2008): I don't think many people would've been in a similar situation, partly due to the seriousness of it.
You might not want to, and its becoming more of my trademark answer, AND is a lot easier said than done, but I recommend consuelling. It really, really does help. Not necessarily with getting a girlfriend, but using it to rebuild your life!
I guarantee one day you will get married. Obviously you do hold anger for your brother. He abused you. He destroyed your trust. Hes effectivley destroyed the first part of your life.
But you have things going for you. This is your prime. Don't waste any more time, seek professional help and they may be able to change your life forever. That way, you can live the normal life you deserve.
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A
female
reader, starfairy +, writes (6 July 2008):
 I read this any my heart really went out to you.
I haven't been in this situation and wouldn't even know where to begin with what to say to make you feel even remotely better...I hope you have local support groups you can go to, or people you can speak to...If not, feel free to message me, even just to get a load off your chest...xx
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