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I want to stay secret with our mutual friend, but I also want to know what my Ex is up to!

Tagged as: Friends, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 June 2006) 2 Answers - (Newest, 9 June 2006)
A male , anonymous writes:

Right, this is my situation, I've written in several times pertaining to my breakup from my ex.

I haven't contacted him or sent emails nor texts to regain my dignity and self respect, and it's so damn hard, it feels like months.

I'm trying to refrain from sending him anything to see if he even notices that I've stopped.

My problem is that we have a mutual friend that knows about our breakup, and knew about our relationship, and I want to chat to this friend like I always have, but I don't want this friend to tell my ex when we chat because they chat to each other every day and I don't want this friend to say, how I've been doing and about what I'm doing, I want my ex to in fact wonder what happened to me since I don't email or text anymore to see if he even misses me and get worried, and realise what he has lost. I know it's silly, but I want to tell this friend of ours to say he hasn't heard from me.

Plus I wanted to find out, and I've even considered doing this, I want to know if he has found someone else already just so that I can hate him even more? should I text him sometime and ask? I know I'm being a fool but this pain I feel is blinding my judgement.

Thanks, what should I do about our mutual friend keeping our chats private?

View related questions: my ex, text

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A male reader, tux United States +, writes (9 June 2006):

tux agony auntThere are 2 options here...

Option 1: You can tell your mutual friend not to discuss anything about you to him and trust they won't.

Option 2: You can stop talking to them.

Both have there pluses and minuses. Option 1, there is a risk that your friend will spill the beans. but if you want to continue to talk to them, you have to take that risk, but make sure they know that you don't want anything going back to the other party.

Option 2, you loose a friend which can still happen in option 1 if they spill the beans.

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A female reader, sibaan +, writes (8 June 2006):

sibaan agony auntjust spek to him and tell hi mthat you want nothing to do with your ex and that your ex has no right to know who you do and d ont talk to anymore. its your life now, so go out and enjoy it girl!

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