A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have been married for 28 years, I fell out of love 10 years ago but haven't left as my husband has always been so dependent on me. Over the years he has got severe back problems and suffers with depression. I have just found the courage to sell the house and to separate but not sure if I can go through with it as I am so sad the see the state of my husband but don't want to live with him anymore. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2007): If your husband has had depression for some time it can drive a wedge between the two of you and he might not even know. Has he told you why he is in this state? He probably considers you his strength during this period. My husband had depression because of redundancy and feared that I would leave him. I sought solace in the arms of another man but I was totally wrong. I told my husband that I was leaving him and like you he was devastated but I listened to him and beleived he was sincere. On the whole he had been an excellent husband with the usual faults that everyone has magnified by his depression. I have stood by him and do not regret for one minute that I have done so. He has actually come out of his depression and has a new outlook and verve for life.
A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (5 June 2007):
 My husband of twelve years has just left me and i must say it is very easy to make the person leaving feel so bad about doing it without even meaning to, it's only been a couple of months for me and although i still love him to bits with the fantastic family and friends i have surrounding me i am feeling so much better as each day passes i have depression but since he left i have been to my gp and am now on medication, think about yourself it's better to leave then be stuck in a loveless relationship.
Take care.xx.
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A
female
reader, Advicehunny +, writes (5 June 2007):
you should sit him down and talk to him there no point being with some one if you do not like him.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (5 June 2007):
 After being married so long, of course it is sad to see your husband suffer. But in all honesty, his back would still hurt him whether you are there or not and depression can be a chronic condition. You can't see yourself going back and living with him so just stay separated for awhile (am I correct assuming you have separated?). Once he is on his own for awhile he will be less and less dependent on you and you will not feel so guilty about the divorce. Good luck and keep us posted.
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (5 June 2007):
 He's got to fix himself on his own. When he looks in the mirror and seeks a change, he'll find it. The best thing that you can do is get a divorce, and let him find himself.
DV1
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