A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My current boyfriend made it clear that he doesn't believe in marriage. It upsets me that I'll never get to be a legal wife. This makes me think of how my life would be if I had not break up with my ex. I have to admit, I have strong feelings for both of them. Probably a little stronger for my current boyfriend. The question is, should I go for the one who would provide me security (a legal marriage) or for someone who doesn't believe in it and would never marry me?
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (11 June 2012):
 Neither one is right for you, if you have feelings for both of them. Exes are exes for a reason and marriage would not resolve past issues. You are thinking too far ahead. Finding the right person is more important. That right person is compatible with you at the same time makes you feel secure even when there is no marriage yet. I don't believe in marriage either but I am not opposed to it. I don't expect the fairy tale of happily ever after but I would gladly go through the formal procedure and the honeymoon. I still think it's better to get married, have faith in it, possibly get my heart broken than to say it doesn't work without trying it first. When a person has to make a strong statement like that he seems unromantic and negative. You would question his ability to commit to you. A marriage does not necessarily give you security. People still cheat and become dead beat parents. You are very young and you have options. If you are 60 and your same age boyfriend had married twice and doesn't believe in marriage but otherwise everything is good in the relationship, then maybe I would tell you to just accept it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2012): If you want to be married legally, then your current boyfriend is not for you. As far as any other men, I am not sure.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2012): It really doesn't sound like you are in love enough with this guy to have a fulfilling marriage. You have very different views on how your future together should be and that's not necessarily a good thing.
There will be someone else who comes along who will be able to give you security and a love that lasts forever.
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