A
female
age
36-40,
*tazy1984
writes:Hi, I have been with my partner for 5 years and have 2 children by him and 2 from a previous relationship,he doesn't get on with my son at all from my previous relationship,my son spends a lot of time with his grandad but when his home its nothin but war with him and my partner my partner is so nasty to him and I can't take it anymore,also I have had enough of my partner he does nothin but slag me off all the time calling me all these s word names I really don't know what to do I don't want to leave him as he has said if I do he will make my life hell help please Reply to this Question
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female
reader, comeonjesusthishurtstoomuch  +, writes (16 January 2011):
 No problem. I really do hope that you are strong enough to do this it is for the best.
A
female
reader, stazy1984 +, writes (16 January 2011):
stazy1984 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank u x
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A
female
reader, comeonjesusthishurtstoomuch +, writes (16 January 2011):
You didn't say husband so i assume he's your boyfriend. Look straight at him and say do your worst buddy, because everyone will know that your a disgruntled ex. Don't stay with him, it is ruining your sons life. Being the one that wasn't wanted can do great hurt to your son. Ask yourself a question is this man a replica of what you want your son to be? Boys learn what kinda man to be from their father figure and girls what kind of man to search for. So if you wouldn't want your daughter to date him or your son to be him then run fast!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2011): Don't be blackmailed into staying in a miserable existence. Also the effect on your son, who your partner dislikes, should be enough to make you really consider leaving. No one should be made to feel they cannot leave a relationship that is plainly unhappy. Your children will pay the price of you staying, as living in a hostile environment can be doing them emotional harm. Get support from family and friends and leave.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2011): You need to develop an exit plan and start putting the plan in action. Take your time, plan what you need... figure out what you need to take with you. Financial records, get his government ID # (in the US we call this a Social Security Number) so that someone can track him down if need be. Get all the bank records, start hiding money, start slowly shedding stuff you don't need and figure out where your going.
One day when he's not around, clean the place out and bolt.
Don't go back NO MATTER WHAT!
Odds are good he's all bluff and just being a jerk.
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A
female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (16 January 2011):
 As CaringGuy so wisely says he can't and won't do anything he is just trying to scare you. All that is standing in your way is fear of the unknown and really there is nothing to be scared about. Your partner is making your life miserable and making it so that your son doesn't want to come home and this is no way to live. Find somewhere else to live or go and live with 'Grandad' until you are sorted out. These kind of threats of making your life hell are just examples of controlling behaviour making you supposedly scared to leave so he has you trapped. He can do nothing at all and if he does you can call the police or get a lawyer involved to take a restraining order out against him. He sounds horrible and I think you have put up with enough and it is time for you to leave,
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (16 January 2011):
He won't do anything. He's just saying that to scare you. Tell as many people that are your friends that you're leaving, get some support and then leave. If he tries anything, get a court order. Just get away from him.
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