A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:To cut a really long story short, my ex recently started talking to me again after 6 months saying he still loves me and wants us to try again? - (We split because of distance)I said no, because the distance is too far i would rather wait then get back with him, but what are we supposed to do if were not a couple, like i still love him and he goes out clubbing alot and i dont want him to find another girl where he lives. I want to get back with him, just not yet.What do you think i should do?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (8 June 2011):
 What do you mean you want to get back with him just not yet.
I'm in an LDR and OMG my BF and I had a HUGE fight last week that lasted almost a week... it almost killed me. I did everything I could to fix it and get us back together...
I agree with CargingGuy either you want him or you don't. Don't make him the 'backup' plan.
LDRs are hard. and at a younger age nearly impossible....
If the distance is too much, say so and just know if you guys ever end up in the same city you may be able to pursue a relationship then... I think letting it (and him) go is the best recourse
A
female
reader, Adorskable  +, writes (8 June 2011):
 Your not sure if you want him or not, so I think you should let him go. Its not fair to ask him to wait for you, and to not search for a person he can call his girlfriend. Many time LDR don't work out but it can work if the couples work on it but you are already stopping in front of hurdles so my suggestion is to let him go. In time you and him will find a person you will want to spend time with, but make sure you check out his zip code first, that way you don't have the same problem again.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (8 June 2011):
You either want to get back with him or not - period. No 'ifs', no 'buts'.
It's unfair of you and unrealistic to think about waiting around. He has no obligation to wait - and you would be cruel for suggesting that he should given the fact that you might well change your mind. True love, true respect, true care and all those other feelings don't waver in the face of distance.
As I see it, this is a very clear choice - either you talk to him and tell him that you are willing to give it another chance no matter what the distance - or you say goodbye and cut contact. You can't have it both ways. You can't make him wait, and you expect him to not go out, to not meet other women. If you don't make your claim right now, he WILL find someone else and there will be nothing you can do about it.
Do you want him or not, distance or not? Yes or no? If yes - tell him and work on it. If no - say goodbye and never look back. Just don't think you can wait around.
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