A
female
age
16-17,
anonymous
writes:HiI have a problem in that I know nothing about my birth father - except his first name. I desperately want to find him and I have tried everything from my birth certificate (which doesn't have his name on it) to friends reunited and facebook but with no luck.I think it's because only knowing his first name and nothing else is too vague. My mum and her side of the family won't tell me anything and if I bring up the subject they don't listen and certainly won't give me any answers. Is there no possible way for me to find him? Is there anybody else who has been in this situation that could offer advice? Thank you for any help you can offer.
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female
reader, littlegemz84 +, writes (15 October 2008):
Hi, I have recently found myself in the same situation and with a mother who also wasn't open to helping me. My mother had no legit reasons for it, she is just selfish which she has proven not only to me, but many of her own family. I found my dad within 9mnths of being on www.genesreunited.com, the researchers on there are amazing and so helpful. I only had his first and second name, and since then pieced together my jigsaw and unravelled my mothers lies to find I have 4 uncles, 1 aunt, over 12 cousins etc. I had around 16 names to write too, none of which were him but I put together the data and came up with the conclusion I could possibly have a cousin whom I eventually wrote to. Turns out I found my cousin through genes reunited then my other cousin recieved his letter...www.genesreunited.comDONT GIVE UP!
A
female
reader, Katz74 +, writes (2 October 2008):
I found out after 34yrs i to have no date of birth if i can help or if u have any luck let me know thanks good luck. X
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A
female
reader, leanne1983 +, writes (11 August 2008):
hi my names leanne, im 25 and have recently found myself in the same situation my mum told me that after 25 yrs of thinking i know my dad that i had never actually met him, i am trying to find him and all i have to go on is a name and the fact that he used to be a chef 25yrs ago, i am running into brick walls everywhere i look, they all ask for a date of birth which i dont have, if u have any luck with your search would you message me and let me know how you did it and i will do the same for you,
good luck
leanne x
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A
female
reader, angelrockheart +, writes (30 May 2008):
I know how you feel - I have exactly the same problem with my father - this is a problem but you could ask your mum for advice or you could try and find out a way of finding his adress or call and identity number - I am sorry I can not rpovide you with one - good luckx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2008): i work in an adoption department in a local authority in the UK. What you need to do first is contact your local authority and they will tell you how to go about it. You wouldn't need his name although it makes it easier if you have it. Try and find out how you got adopted, if its by an agency or whatsoever. Its amazing how many reunions take place every month. If you need more advice please msg back
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A
male
reader, StudentOfLife  +, writes (30 May 2008):
 Maybe there's a reason why your mom doesn't want to tell you. Ever thought about that?
Maybe your mother was raped and that she doesn't want to see that man again.
Think about it. If he was a good man, don't you think that your mother would have stayed in contact with him at least?
I'm not telling you to stop searching for him, I'm just worried about the fact that your moms is not helping you.
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A
female
reader, Zarna +, writes (30 May 2008):
 I'm in the same situation as you are hunny...I too, have no idea who my birth father is!
My adivice for you is to never give up searching for him. They're proabaly not telling you about him because the news might up set you.
Try contacting with a talk show pleading for help to find him. By doing this, this might touch some producers' heart and help out how ever they can! In most cases, the outcome for people asking talk shows to help them find family members comes up postitive!
Try looking through old records that might have been made by your mother perhaps about him!
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A
male
reader, Uncle Sneaker + ♥, writes (30 May 2008):
 I have a similar problem - I was adopted and I want to find my birth mother or at least some more details about her, but I have had no success and I've been trying for years. And I have her full name and my adoption records, but still nothing.
I can only tell you some of the things I've tried, and hope that something works for you, but without even a name it is going to be very difficult.
Put your name AND your mother's name onto every contact site you can find - there are quite a few that specifically deal with finding lost friends and relatives.
Put together a one-page web site (lots of places you can do this free - or spend a little money on registering a domain that uses your surname). Make sure all the details on your web page are relevant - so that it gets indexed by search engines. One day he might happen to search Google or another search engine and come up with your page.
Set up a free Google "news alert/web alert" using his first name and the original town your mother was living in, also an alert using your mother's first & last name, and one using yours if there's any possibility he might know your first name. He may be searching for you too, and there's a slight possibility he will put something somewhere on the Net - and this is the best way to ensure that you get an e-mail alerting you if something comes up that might be relevant.
Without a surname I can't think of anything else you can do. The other option of searching the electoral roll and similar public records simply doesn't work. Is there anyone who lived nearby, or maybe a family friend who might have known more about who your mother was seeing and who might be willing to give you more information?
Of course, you also need to consider why your mother won't give you the information, and the effect on your relationship with her if you do find your birth father. Also, if there has been no contact with him at all, you have to be prepared for the possibility that he won't be interested and doesn't want to see you. Maybe you should try again to discuss this with your mother before you go too much further. It would be disastrous to find your father and then discover that you had ruined your relationship with your mother completely.
Good luck.
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