A
female
age
36-40,
*icksy
writes:My new partner is also a dear friend of mine. Over the weekend we met up and when we came to "doing it" he was too big for me. We had done foreplay beforehand and he was reassuring but i want to be able to enjoy it without it hurting, any advice?
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female
reader, nicksy +, writes (6 November 2009):
nicksy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to all who replied to this, i will definately take on board everything said and when we next meet will use the lube and try different positions - lucky me haha
Thanks again x
A
female
reader, Carrot2000  +, writes (6 November 2009):
 Has he tried entering you from behind? That may help. Remember, the vagina can stretch to accommodate a baby, so in time you will get used to his size. In the meantime, LOTS of lube and don't rush it!
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A
female
reader, nicksy +, writes (2 November 2009):
nicksy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe is someone i hope to be with for a very long time, the sex doesnt bother me to much but i cant answer for him and if i didnt ask then i wouldnt no.
Thanks!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2009): Sometimes the parts don't comfortably fit and you may be sexually incompatible because of this. I mean it appears to be obvious.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2009): Agree with lethal. Lubricant helped for me though, and the worst I could do with my ex that was rather thick, was to be on top. I started bleeding if I attempted to start on top, and I was much better off starting in missionary. Once he was in we tried to not move much at all in the beginning. And if he slipped out before we were done, it would be impossible to get back into it because it would start to hurt again.
Im sorry but I can't really give other advice. It was an issue in our relationship for me (and Im sure for him too) because the sex never got good. Too many complications and things that needed to be in order, and too little freedom of movement in bed. The sex sucked to be honest. So I will advice you, that if he's just a friend and not someone you want to marry, stop having sex with him and find a better fitting partner.
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A
female
reader, LethalInjection-x +, writes (2 November 2009):
 I had this issue with an ex, and I had lots of things suggested: more lubrication, "stretching" more during foreplay, different positions.
Firstly, I would suggest trying to lengthen foreplay, and try not to think about what it will be like to attempt actualy sex, as this may cause you to panic and over think it, which would lead to you tensing up anyway - defeating the object.
Secondly, if more foreplay doesn't help the situation, try adding lubrication. This could be in the form of perhaps oral before attempting sex, or a shop bought lubrication. Personally, I found this didn't help matters at all for me, it still hurt immensely when we tried.
Then, if that fails, time to try a new position. From personal experience, I'd say that missionary is one of the worst positions in this situation, and the best position is the woman on top. The reason I found this helped so much is because it allows you to be in complete control of the speed and force. Also, I think the weight of you helps too.
Lastly, when I was with my ex, if we hadn't had full intercourse for a few days, it would be exactly the same at the beginning, so be prepared for this, but once everything was "sorted" the discomfort left and it was fine.
Good luck with this, and I'm glad he's been reassuring you. x
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