A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I graduated from university this past spring, and have been single for about 3 years. I have decided not to settle for just anyone, however I now really would like to be in a relationship. But I do not know where to start. I am working but the company is small and I do not want to date someone I would see at work. I have been hanging out with friends but nobody has caught my interest yet. I have browsed online dating sites, trying to be more open, but still have not found anyone I am attracted to. Any suggestions?
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2014): My advice is short but as a long-term single who has finally found someone after over 4 years of looking, this is my advice:1) Keep looking but don't be miserable in the meantime. Single life has many advantages. Now is the time to discover how you like to spend your time. Now is the time to engage in hobbies, making new friends, discovering new places. As soon as you're in a relationship, you'll probably go out less, neglect your friendships a little, and even compromise your hobbies to go on dates, spend romantic evenings etc.2) Go to events, festivals, classes etc. that interest you. It's more likely to fall in love with a likeminded person. To meet people that listen to the same music, have the same hobby, passion, profession, political point of view etc. can be a really good opportunity to find a compatible partner. And there's always something you have in common and can talk about. I found my partner like that.3) If you find someone that you find attractive and special, don't hesitate to make the first step or to show him that you like him, even if that could mean rejection. Don't be too shy once you come across this person of interest, because he will show up in your life. If he likes you back, give it a try, even if there are some difficulties and nothing is ever perfect. 4) Don't settle for anyone you don't feel truly attracted to, no matter how long you're single. If you feel like there's no spark, don't try to force it.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (13 October 2014):
 You can't expect Mr. Wonderful to just show up on your doorstep, you have to be out there and visible. Join clubs, volunteer groups, anything you are remotely interested in. Go to parties even if you really don't feel like it. You need to be proactive on this, it will happen for you but not if you hole up at home.
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A
male
reader, UncleDaddy +, writes (13 October 2014):
 Not exactly an answer, but a comment for solidarity so you know you are far from alone in this. I recently caught myself using this sentence with 100 % sincerity, then cracked up out loud at hearing the words:
"I just want someone to love me for who I am, because -- honestly -- I'm not willing to try very hard."
Good luck. Patience. Keep a light-hearted sense of humor about this, and it will solve itself before you even know what happened.
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A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (13 October 2014):
Hi it might be helpful if you would consider joining different types in your area,For example Tennis, bowling,cards.a debating group.joined a writers group,a book club.Inserted a advertisment in apaper re -meeting point-stating your interests.age e.c.t. requesting a guy with similar insterests.Anyway the BEST of luck in the future and hope all turns out o k for you.NORA B.
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