A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:On the 6th of September I broke up with my boyfriend of 8 months. Our anniversary was coming up and we were planning a getaway trip to colorado. He was absolutely perfect and wonderful to me but that all soon changed to extreme possessiveness. He never trusted me not one time throughout our relationship. This man would be absolutely perfect if it wasn't for these setbacks. I want him to change but I'm affraid he never will. I want him back so bad but I want to be his girlfriend, not his possession. I'm so disgustingly hurt over this and I need some sort of closure. I love him so much. I had nowhere else to turn. I need answers.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (9 September 2010):
 Rule number one in any relationships between two people:
1. Know that you can NOT change another person. The ONLY way anyone will change if THAT person realize that THEY want to change, then THEY can work on changing themselves.
2. Be realistic.
3. Be honest. With yourself and a partner.
4. No one is perfect.
I'm sorry, he is not going to be the guy you want him to be. You put him up on a "he's perfect pedestal" and he fell. Either you accept his flaws and work with them ( in your case I wouldn't) or you will have to accept them and move on.
It seems to me that this is less about you and more about him. HE wants to control you, because HE doesn't trust you. (and maybe himself too).
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2010): Chances are he doesn't trust you because he is up to no good himself. Past experiences has taught me he will not change his behaviors in fact they usually tend to get worse instead of better. Cry til you can't cry anymore and move on... plenty of guys out there that will treat you like you should be treated...
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