A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I seriously need help... Ive been with my girlfriend for just over a year now and she is great.. Shes always there for me, she doesnt treat me bad, and we never have sexual problems or even huge arguments.. And yet I don't want her.. I didnt want to get with her in the first place, and I feel extremelly bored with the commitment.. A few of her best friends are great as well, and recently i found out that one of them fancies me.. I want to do something with her, even if its just kissing, i dont care.. I just want to cheat on my girlfriend but the thing is, i dont know if im ok with that..Im stuck in the middle, and have to make a choice.. Either cheat on my girlfriend, or just try forget about these feelings... Or dump her, which as i said, shes really great so i dont know if i could do that either.I tried to dump her a while ago, but she came up to my house and was crying and everything, i felt so bad i wanted to die.. Not because i made my girlfriend cry, because i made someone cry..I really need help and have no idea what to do, i dont think i could cheat, i dont think i could dump her, yet i really dont want to be with anyone! To simplify it, i want to be a slut and have complete freedom..I'd really appreciate your help people..Thanks
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male
reader, njmbslk  +, writes (18 March 2010):
You're a teen ager. When do you plan on breaking up with her - after you've turned 24 and have been married for 6 years?The longer you wait, the harder it is. Learn how to be a man and face the consequences. That said, there are ways to break up that show maturity and ways to do it that will insure you're known as a jerk. Be honest (well, except for the wanting to be with her friend part.) Always break up with a compliment and in person if you've been dating for an extended period. Say something like "You're a terrific person, I really like being with you. But, I know I don't have real feelings for you and you deserve better. It isn't fair to you for me not to have the relationship that you deserve."No one likes "it's not you it's me." But, better that than something callous like "I hate you."
A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (15 March 2010):
 Hey, you just broke up with someone...even if you had good intentions you'll always feel bad about it. In the end thought, it's the best thing you could have done. She'll get over it in time :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, i finally did it. I dumped her and now feel like the biggest jerk in the history of humankind :\
Thanks for helping out though people :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey people, thanks for your help but the thing is ive tried dumping her already.. As i said, she came up to the house bawling her eyes out, begging me to take her back. If only i hadnt seen her that night i would have been fine.. Anyone got any tips to sort that out?And Lexie88, Im definite i want out.. I didnt want to be in this relationship in the beginning, and that feeling just got worse over the months... Also, i have a plan, but not sure if its right.. Im purposely being quite dry with her, not being very huggy/kissy or even loved up at all.. I try my best to treat her as a mate more than a girlfriend. Hopefully, she'll dump me and feel a little better about splitting up with me.. Is this right ?
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A
female
reader, virgin18 +, writes (5 March 2010):
 I think you should end things with her. You might feel guilty at first but it is way better than cheating on her and hurting her even more. If u do not want a commitment be honest, tell her that she is great but that you do not want to be with anyone at the moment, that it is not because she has done something wrong. She might cry but believe me, I am a girl and if I had the choice of being dump or staying with my boyfriend but being cheated on, I would not think twice about the 1st choice. It is better if she is sad because of the breakup but there is room for friendship in a later future, than if she is sad and resents you for the rest of her life. Girls never forget when they are cheated on so my best advise is to break it off because both of you get hurt badly.
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A
female
reader, cry +, writes (5 March 2010):
 tell her now rather than later say things arnt working but can we b friends...........
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A
female
reader, Lexie88 +, writes (5 March 2010):
Hey, at least you're being honest.
You don't want to stay, you don't want to go...but you can't sit on the fence. You have to make a choice either way.
I think you'd be best of ending your relationship. She might be great and a wonderful girl, but if you're not in this a 100% what is the point? She will be hurt and you know that but don't let that stop you. The worst thing you could do is to stay with her and cheat on her. That would hurt her a lot more.
I say you should talk to her. Tell her that although you've had a great time with her and she's a wonderful person, you just want to be able to go out and have fun. There is nothing wrong with that, and being honest about it is the way to go. I'm sure she'll be hurt and will try and get you to stay so make sure you've made your decision before you go and talk to her.
As a final thought, have you thought about this carefully? I know you're young and this girl is probably not the one that you'll end up with but are you definite that you want out?
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