A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid me and my bf have been together a year and 4 months.We are pretty happy 80% of the time. But lately I feel taken for granted.Sometimes he seems irritable with me for no reason and im getting trust issues from this.I feel like he's getting too comfortable and not putting effort in our relationship. An example is Valentines day, a few days before valentines day he told me he had to work. He just started a new job and I completely understand. But I got a weird vibe that he didnt wanna spend that day with me for some reason.He just kept saying there was no way he could fit it into his schedule over and over again.Even though i was sad i didnt nag about it; i planned to spend the day alone.Anyway valentines day came and surprisingly he asked to see me in the morning before work,so he walked to my house and we walked back to his house.When we got to his house our other couple friends stopped by and started exchanging gifts in front of us. But my boyfriend got me nothing at all which made it very awkward when it was our turn. When my boyfriend left the room The girls made a big deal out of it, because I didn't get anything special and that made me feel even worse!It didn't seem to bother him though. He just started getting ready for work.It makes me sad because the day before we spent hours at the department stores helping his brother pick the perfect gift for his girlfriend. And when we were walking to his house that morning we passed by people selling roses and chocolate.. everything but he didn't seem to notice.Before he went to work he bragged about how he was going shopping for himself because he just got paid. It hurts that he forgot about me.I always make him feel special,his birthday was a few weeks ago and I went all out to make his day special. I'm not materialistic he usually makes my gifts by hand like last valentines day.I didn't give him his valentines gift because I don't want him to feel obligated to go buy me one or make one if he doesn't want to. Does this mean he's lost interest in me? Why did he choose not to acknowledge me? This isn't like him compared to how excited he was last year on valentines day. I think I'm so hurt because I haven't felt loved by him in a while now.. What should I do I don't wanna force him to give me attention I want him to do it because he loves me? I just want things to be romantic like they use to be. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (16 February 2016):
 Poor you, this sounds like it was a terrible Valentines day. Am sure he must have figured this would have hurt you, everyone else getting gifts and not you. Honey there is no way you can hide these feelings from him because if you do it will make you resent him and this will cause even more trouble in the relationship.
Without knowing you guys I can't say if he has lost interest or not. Maybe he is taking you for granted, maybe he doesn't feel the same way about you anymore or maybe he is just not in to romance. Either way you need to tell him how it upset you. Tell him how you have been feeling.
A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (16 February 2016):
 Can you accept him the way he is? Some men aren't demonstrative. Perhaps it's true you have fallen into a rut and he is taking you for granted. How can you break that cycle?
You can talk to him directly and tell him that if he doesn't pay more attention to you you will be able to find someone else who will.
You can start being less available. Make him question why you have changed.
You can alter your situation like a holiday, or some new French knickers might do the trick.
Other respondents might have more ideas of how to regain his attention.
Many things can come between partners. Money worries, work, same old same old, another person on the radar.
You need to find out what's wrong and be prepared to fix it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2016): It would seem that you are just going through the motions. Gifts aren't everything if you feel secure and loved. I don't get that impression here. Why do u have trust issues do u think he has someone else or he's just being self centred. Relationships come with their highs n lows. You have to sit him down and tell him what you need from him. In the end only you can decide if you are on happy to put up with this. You can both be on the same road by taking different paths. You r young and obviously this is upsetting you. So you need to address it.
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